It’s been eating at her latley. I’m 24, she’s 21 She claims I have people to go out and do whatever I want and she dosent. She wants friends (mainly other women) but dosent have any. She’s been talking about meeting this girl to hangout for 2 weeks and she stood her up this morning … I felt so bad. She’s crying and claims something must be wrong with her but it’s not true at all. It was just rude for her new “friend” to do that. I tell her she should find hobbies for herself since she dosent have too many but she hasn’t yet. What can I do to help her? Any suggestions? It seems like she’s really yearning for other friends. Thanks
TD;LR how can I find my girlfriend friends? I don’t have many girlfriend her type
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Coworkers, classmates, women’s only clubs or classes for something she finds interesting. Local Facebook groups too.
Does she work? Go to school? I suggest a part time job waiting tables or hostessing at a restaurant, tons of people her age and it’s easier in my experience than other jobs (like office jobs) to make friends.
Junior League (philanthropy group for women), book clubs, running groups, volunteer at a pet shelter (or some other cause she might feel strongly about), local community theater groups.
There are tons of ways to meet like-minded people and form organic relationships with.
Perhaps you should encourage her to see a doctor or therapist. It’s possible that she has undiagnosed social anxiety (could that be why she stood up that lady that she was going to see?). There are treatments like meds or therapy that can help her work through those issues so that she’s able to “put herself out there” more and meet people.
I know it’s hard to not feel sad about being stood up. But this seems so common especially when you’ve only been talking online. There’s no real sense of personal connection or guilt from just ghosting. I’ve tried making friends through apps and talked to probably a dozen girls but only one has really kept up. I always message first and try to ask questions to keep the conversation going. I’d suggest meeting up rather quickly because I find that some people won’t keep up a convo for very long. Meeting in person helps put a face to the name and makes it a little harder to ghost. Not that it won’t happen, I met a girl the same day we started talking. I texted her the next day and she stopped talking :/ but I knew her GF was back in town so I just assumed she wanted someone to go out because she was lonely and I didn’t feel bad about myself. It was more a reflection of her.
Edit. I’m on multiple apps looking for friends. But your gf should be picky. I tried making friends with a straight girl and met up, but realized I’m better off with like-minded lesbians because we just have more in common.
Since you have mentioned that she doesn’t have that much interest why not try and accompany her while trying an interest you suggest or you guys can think of? Like playing online games with her, joining a book club and all that. Maybe she’s just a bit timid and finds it hard to communicate and might feel support if you’re there with her, only if you are available of course.
The major factor in forming friendships seems to be exposure. Simply spending time with other people. That’s why it seemed easier to make friends as kids. We were stuck in school together.
Obviously her current situation is either not affording her the opportunities or she is not taking advantage of them…
Sooo, I recommend your girlfriend pursue her passions. She will meet people through the course of her activities and genuinely have something in common to bond over. Even if the worst happens and she never makes a friend, she will have the pleasure of doing something she values.
I hope that helps.