Men who want all the elements in an intimate relationship but do not want labels and commitment, why?

33 comments

1. Labels are stupid and ¿How can someone want all the elements in an intimate relationship without wanting commitment? Commitment is part of the elements in an intimate relationship.

2. I need to focus on myself and my personal development right now. A serious relationship requires a lot of sacrifice and compromise. My personal growth is the most important thing to me for the foreseeable future. I’m never going to be in the right place for a serious relationship if I don’t put the work into myself right now. But meanwhile I have physical needs, I need a certain amount of intimacy and emotion and passion. Cuddles and hugs and backrubs and not just sex. Lots of girls are looking for something similar in my experience and once you find the right one for it, it can easily last months to years. I’m with a 32 year old girl (I’m 21) rn. She got divorced and likewise is just focusing on herself and her growth until she is ready for a real relationship again. But meanwhile she has those same needs as me. We take care of eachother.

3. It’s like eating candy without getting fat.

4. Men have different things they are working through at different times, same as women.

5. I’m so fucking confused by this question………
   1. I don’t want all the elements but okay.
   2. I feel like you been dating players and haven’t met a real one yet, maybe the person was scared, etc… (Could give 20+ examples but I’m not about that life. 😂🤣)

6. Because I can tell when a relationship has an expiration date.

7. ultimately, they juat want to explore more women.

8. Perhaps because in practice (not by definition or necessity), “commitment” often comes with significant loss of freedom, autonomy, & personal identity, making it feel like a trap into the proverbial “ball & chain.” After having “the talk” about “what are we and where is this going” and then “committing,” many people place very restrictive expectations on their partner, like demanding that they shed their old lives/selves and give up their hobbies, interests, friends, family, etc. to focus *all* of their time & energies solely on “this relationship.” That’s when all the joy deflates out of what was once an enjoyable connection that mutated into a dreaded obligation. Commitment does not need to be this way, but it often is, which might be why so many are averse to it.

9. low Bodycount and about these not so much Experience, focus on Career and Life and not on Relationship, don’t want a committed Relationship by choice

   these the first 3 things what comes in my mind

10. as always the fellas here dishonest af. why you think OP? so he can fuck other women on the side while for all intents and purposes he has a legit girlfriend in you. Then his conscience is “clean” because hey he’s technically not cheating! This is like potentially THE oldest rule in the book for us players this is old as time. I dont do it anymore but shit i definitely used to. Eventually more than one woman becomes a hassle tho lmao ya boy tired all the time at the ripe age of 30

11. Because those men exercise options

12. Not every relationship has to lead to commitment. Sometimes it’s just casual and that’s OK. You make it sound as if the women are being victimized by this position

13. If you’re a woman writing this from your personal dating experience, then it sounds like you’ve been dating boys, not men…

14. We call it fwb and that’s the cheapest option available for enjoying uninterrupted supply of sex.

15. Why commit if the women of today give away the candy without it? Serious.

    Nobody buys the cow if they get the milk for free.

16. Been burned in every serious relationship I’ve had.

17. It’s easier idk – serious relationship feels like much more work than I currently can handle. I still need hugs and sex etc but I’m just not the person I would want to be or at least what I would expect a “good boyfriend” to be like – mostly just my own insecurity and not being good enough for my self expactions.

18. Dude doesn’t feel ‘Fuck yeah’ about you but doesn’t want to jeopardize a solid supply of pussy and attention.

19. So you can have your cake, and fuck it too, while looking for a better cake. Same reason for women.

20. Just not ready for the commitment and expectations that come with it… For me it was a horrible experience of my gf of 10 years that cheated while i was in quarantine over christmas…

    I cant pinpoint what it is exactly, but i guess i just need time to build up trust again

21. What does commitment mean? If I fail to live up to my commitment, what are the consequences?

22. I don’t think you’re gonna like my answer and that’s fine with me. Everytime I decide to commit the relationship starts feeling more one sided and I’m less appreciated. Little things such as compliments, looking your best on dates and gifts. They slowly decline once you get into a committed relationship. I’ve tried communicating and it’s never worked, I’m usually met with a lot of disagreeableness. My way to fix this was to show her that more women do the things she stopped doing for me regularly. Eventually this turned into dating none exclusively and in my opinion it’ll stay this way for some time until I pick one of them to commit to and I’m fine with her slacking, hopefully she never does. If she does slack, maybe just maybe I’ll be happy to see my future children happy and that’ll be enough.

23. Who cares? Sex and relatioships mean different things entirely,to different people.

24. …because sex is fun and enjoyable and feels great, but commitment is boring, bothersome, and troublesome?

    Life is short. I don’t want to waste it away having to put up with someone, and with their friends and family.

25. Sex is fun and easy, it requires little effort. A relationship is work, time consuming, and requires that I put a good deal of effort to maintain and improve. I also forces me to take into account another person’s feeling, wants, and needs. Sex does make me take into account the person’s needs, but it’s not as taxing comparatively speaking. I can get a nut and go about my marry way. We’re if I’m in a relationship, I’ll find my ass at a apple field dressed in flannel for pictures and cider tasting vs. being at home doing what I really enjoy.

26. when you’re single, there are no labels. the onus is on the other person to explain why i SHOULD start using labels, not the other way around.

27. Lots of comments getting downvoted here… maybe don’t hate when you’re getting the answer you asked for

28. Because I can have them without the commitment. Why would intimacy entitle someone to commitment?

29. I think those men are in the top 20%, not necessarily reflected in all men.

30. If a girl is cute AND likeable, you get commitment, if you only have one of those things, you get ghosted.

31. For me I wanted a relationship but I didn’t want to formally ask out of fear of rejection. I thought the whole ‘will you be my girlfriend’ was a teenage cliche and having gotten older it was just an unspoken agreement that you just stay faithful to each other and are dating.

    I also didn’t want to get married. Like yes I love my wife to bits and could happily spend my life with her, but what about 30 years down the track, will it be the same? What if we broke up and needed a divorce? At the end of the day it’s just a piece of paper that costs a shitload of money. Eventually I came around because regardless of getting married or not the split would be intense and expensive, and because I knew that being married would make her happy. At the end of the day I wanted her to be happy so we got married

32. Man hoar

33. Let’s do a cost benefit analysis.

    The man gets all the benefits of access to sex and intimacy all they want, but without the cost of commitment.

    If I had to guess, they do it cause they can and it’s a great deal. A literal steal of a bargain. A man’s commitment is the most valuable thing he can give another person and he’s getting the most valuable thing a woman can offer him (her youth and access to sex) without having to pay that price.