How did you get rid of the guilt that your parents placed on you for choosing to do what’s best for yourself?

12 comments

1. the same time that I realised that my parent(s) never even *wanted* the best for me

2. Remind myself if my parents were good parents: they’d support me & they’d be happy for me. You should always choose yourself, especially if they place guilt on you for it. Parents like that will always make you feel guilty because nothing is ever good enough. Choose yourself. Always.

3. I remind myself that they did the same with their own parents! It’s a rite of passage!

4. I just simply got over it. I realized that I’m an adult and I have to make decisions that I know will benefit ME, not them. I have to live for me. My parents’ input and opinions were always the number one thing I was afraid of, mainly because 99% of the time they were always negative. When you finally realize that choosing what’s best for yourself was the best decision you could’ve made, the guilt they try to put on you is meaningless.

5. OP thank you for asking this question. I am still working through things and need these answers

6. Sometimes the people you love either don’t want the best for you or don’t want to accept that your way is the best for you. You just need to do you.

7. By choosing to not allow them to guilt trip you. Set loving boundaries with them if you can. Try to get in touch with a therapist to work through any pain you’ve experienced as a result of dealing with their unfair expectations of you as their child.

8. I went no contact. Only people who support, love, and validate my emotions get to be in my life. No one, not even my family of origin, gets to use guilt to manipulate my behaviour. That’s some toxic shit right there. Nope.

9. If you want to be happy, you’re gonna have to disappoint your parents a little.

   Always keep in mind that your parents are just people, just because they’re your parents doesn’t mean they’re always right.

10. I remind myself that if they really cared about my well-being they would help instead of bombarding me with criticism and all their religious crap.

11. I think knowing that other parents out there are supporting their children’s choices because it makes them happy helps a lot

12. What guilt? I’ve only felt anger and resentment. I don’t feel bad at all about the way I choose to live. My mom doesn’t like it? She can go kick rocks.