If a women can’t get off only through penetration and she needs a vibrator while you’re having sex or if she can only get off with a vibrator after you’ve had sex. Do you take it personal? I’ve had quiet a few men who feel like it’s their mission to make me orgasm with just penetration when it has nothing to do with them and more to do with stimulation. Some react negatively like I’ve bruised their ego. So I’m curious how many men have encountered this and how you react to it?

24 comments
  1. As I have been trying to get better at sex I learned that stimulation through just penetration really isnt a good way to make someone orgasm so, no I wouldn’t be offended. I recommend trying to work the vibrator into your sex and communicating with your partner so they can be better, thus there will most likely be less bruised egos and a happier experience for both partners.

  2. No. I want the women to come too. If it takes a vibrator than that’s what it takes

  3. I once heard a guy say in work that he feels he “hasn’t done a good job” if the girl wants to use a vibrator during sex. To me that is just insecurity.

    Once I’ve had sex with a girl a few times I will actively ask if she has one and if she wants to use it. If it improves her experience I can’t understand why it would be a problem.

  4. Not necessarily. Some women genuinely cannot orgasm via penetration alone, and I think many guys know enough to understand that. If you tell me what works for you and what doesn’t, I’ll believe you. But of course if something “should” work and I’m not getting the job done, it would bother me. But I don’t think it just bothers men from an ego standpoint, we genuinely want you to enjoy yourself and also feel like *we’re* the reason for it – same as I think women want. Jumping straight to a vibrator would bother me more than failing with penetration. There are other ways, and being bad at those is far more hurtful to a man if he’s put in the time to learn them and also listen to what you like.

  5. as a man, I‘d have no bad feelings whatsoever. I learned that some women just can‘t come off vaginal penetration, so if the vibrater gets you off, who am I to say something against it. its all about fulfillment and pleasure, not ego.

  6. Nope!

    I almost always finish my girl off with toys and my fingers. She’s played with herself way more often than I have with her, she knows what she likes. And as long as she’s getting off, who cares?

    BTDubs, my girl has gotten me into toys and it’s *amazing.* I don’t know why we wouldn’t use them all the time, honestly.

  7. As a guy , I have no idea what it’s like to have a vagina so no. Do what you got to do.

  8. No, I had some excellent fun with girls and their vibrator. If that would be the only way for my girl to orgasm I’d make sure she has plenty of them.

  9. Nope I don’t take it personal, especially when it’s just through penetration. I’m not a person who just sticks it inside and out and hope it gets the work done. There is more to sex then just that. If they are not giving you foreplay or playing with you in other ways as they penetrate it’s pretty much dumb. IMO there had to be more then one stimulation going on to get the best out of sex and having a woman hit the BIG O.

  10. My gf hardly come from piv. God bless the sex toys. If she reach an orgasm and feel pleasure, that is what I need

  11. Hell no. My ex wife used to use one during sex and I had zero problem with it. I am fairly well off and don’t need to single handedly deliver the big O to validate my ability or size. I think it’s really hot for my partner to enjoy herself and if a vibrator helps that then bring it on. I do see how smaller or less confident men might be intimidated or offended by a vibrator, but they suck, so whatever.

  12. “Most women don’t come through penetration alone. (COUGH) ^(if you didn’t know that, some of your exes were faking it.) “

    jk, and plenty of young people unfortunately *don’t* learn this. If men get in their feelings about this, I mean, its a useful piece of information. If you want to address it: “I (like/love) how you fuck me, but I physically can’t come from penetration. Do you want to learn how to make me come or nah?” And obviously don’t waste your time on dudes who aren’t trying to make you come.

    I fucking love vibrators. I got two (bullet–style and rabbit-style) when I started seeing my sweetheart, and gave another (bullet) vibe to them. I’m more used to using my mouth, but vibrators are great for penetration — way easier than trying to use my hands while I’m fucking. They should teach this shit in 9th grade sex ed 😐

  13. Nope. I love a women that knows what works for her. I wish that more women were more open about what works for them.

  14. Sex is more than penetration and people don’t need to have orgasm’s to enjoy sex. So no I don’t take it personal.

  15. Only if they don’t let me use it on them too! Don’t be stingy with orgasms. Whatever works!

  16. Medically speaking, it’s actually pretty common for a woman, regardless of the size/shape/technique of her partner to not be able to orgasm without clitoral stimulation. Ideally, their partner should develop a technique for penetration that actually creates clitoral stimulation via pressure, but that can sometimes feel too harsh. And, let’s be honest, even with direct clitoral stimulation, some women still can take a while to achieve an orgasm unless they are fully in control of the stimulation. It’s why I often have encouraged women to be on top of me so that they have control over pressure and speed while I control angle of penetration. With 12 different women, I have never not found a way that worked without a toy. But a toy is a completely reliable and acceptable shortcut that you should feel no embarrassment over. Allow him to see you use it and maybe see if he can try to mimic the rhythm and pressure with his tongue or fingers. Once he has a feel for what gets you off, you may be able to develop a plan for how to make penetrative sex actually be pleasurable even if the penetration itself isn’t what does it. Hopefully that’s helpful.

  17. Not at all, but I’m also not the type of guy ready to give up trying if PIV doesn’t work. There are a lot of things that can be done with fingers and tongue that may or may not work but if that doesn’t work, I’m happy to assist with “power tools”, so to speak. 😂

  18. Not at all. I appreciate that she is honest about it and we can have fun. I will, however, say that it is good to still be attentive and figure out what she likes in general aside from the orgasm.

  19. No, it’s a device, it’s like getting angry at a toaster for oerfoming better than me.

  20. No never. Some people are just different and there’s nothing wrong with that. If thats what it takes, I’d be down.

  21. No, but with my gf sometimes it can be just soooo disheartening?

    Like, no lie I think I’m pretty damn good at oral + fingers. I’ve made the most stubborn of girls finish quite easily but my gf is like the end game boss of this. In our 3 years of dating I’ve only been able to do this only a handful of times with no vibrator.

    And, not only that but my mouth and tongue will legit HURT cause I’ll be doing it for like 30 minutes non stop!

    Meanwhile here comes a vibrator and boom 3 minutes and she has what sounds like the best orgasm of her life… and not just that, she can do this consistently and cum multiple times with ease…

    So yeah, obviously I don’t “mind” cause you know. I wanna make her feel good and shit. And also I don’t blame her at all, if anything I blame myself for not being good enough. That, wtf is the point of me when a god damn toy can achieve all this and more?

  22. Who are these dudes having sex ONLY through penetration? And why do women tolerate that?! I’m surprised, seemingly, so many men are such shithouse lovers to not be more generous and responsive in their love play

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