I’ve been with him for about six months. We are 23f and 22m. Both of us have had one serious relationship in the past. We have generally discussed about what all went down with our respective exes and the nature of the relationship we had with them.
However, recently I’ve been feeling these waves of retrospective jealousy about the amount of intimate things my bf and his ex have done. Recently I slept with him for the first time and found out some more about the intimacy they had shared. Logically I shouldn’t be dwelling on that because I have a past too.
But what’s actually hurting me is that he was not able to offer me all of that intimacy that he had previously offered his ex. I didn’t feel appreciated physically. Whereas, that wasn’t true on my part. I might have been very close to my ex physically and emotionally but with the current bf I didn’t hold back in any aspect.
I’m spiralling horribly in this negativity and cannot stop thinking about all the things he did to her but not to me. I want to throw up.
Tldr: he was more physically intimate with his ex and didn’t do all that with me. I’m jealous and queasy.
Pls help and suggest something.
5 comments
Y’all have only been together for 6 months what was going on with his ex that you’re not getting
Would need details here. What did the ex get that you aren’t ?
Without details all I can say is maybe she hurt him in a way he hasn’t fully expressed to you yet, that is making him UNABLE to show the intimacy you’re desiring.
You had sex once. How many intimate things is he supposed to do to you in one single session? If you are talking about specific acts, positions….etc. The answer is simple. Tell him you are interested in doing those things and you’d love to do them with him. Want oral? Say so.
You also weren’t there. Sex is almost always better in stories. We edit out all the awkward moments, the times anatomy doesn’t play well, the times you try a position that fails horribly for whatever reason. It’s all roses and bragging when you are recounting tales.
Building a healthy sex life takes time. The first time is rarely if ever the most spectacular time.
You’re not her. Who he was with her will be different to who he is with you.
You can sit there and be jealous about you getting less than her, or you can accept that what you get is just different.
There may be underlying issues of whether or not he’s still hung up on her, but that’s a different matter.
In any case, don’t compare self to her. And if you were going to when you both spoke about your exes, you should’ve just said you don’t want to hear.