How to be a good father without spoiling your children?

13 comments

1. Setting boundaries and sticking to them. Being a good parent isn’t about spoiling them it’s about support, consistency and showing them how to be a good person.

2. I’m not a father but I’d say by just spending time with them, and by being there for them whenever they need you and by supporting them in whatever they do.

3. Give them what they need and only a *little* of what they want. And put a lot of effort into learning what they need, because children can’t tell you–they don’t know (also applies to adults, really).

4. Teach them how to lift, shoot guns, hunt, work on cars, get women, etc

   If they want money to buy something? Have them do chores for you. Not basic chores like taking out the trash or doing dishes. I’m talking about real shit, like cleaning your car, changing your tires, etc.

   Make them earn their money, like a true man

5. I never had a father and wish had 1 to stop me from doing stupid things. Oh well… Be there for them. I m sure they will know you ❤ them.

6. Spend time with them, instead of buying them stuff.

7. Tending to all your childs needs. Your child has the physical needs or shelter, physical protection, food, water, medical care and education. They have emotional need to be secure, esteemed, validated, heard, loved and valued. They have mental need to be taught, to be stimulated and entertained and instructed. The father is the provider. The good father provides these things for his child to the absolute best of his ability

8. Not a Father either but I hope to be, God willing. The thing I worry most about is toeing the line of friendship and discipline. Kids don’t want a best friend for a parent, they want a parent.

   Source: was a kid.

9. 1. Be a father, don’t try to be their friend. Both positions are very close, but not at all the same.

   2. Also, try to understand that there is a difference between your kids respecting you and your kids fearing you. A vast majority of people get that mixed up.

   3. Try to be understanding. Always. Your kids are kids, not adults. They will not see the world the same way you do. Things that are absolutely meaningless to you might be of great importance for them. Where you see fun, they might see fear. Where you see chaos, they might just be discovering something and learning.

   4. They will be stressing you out at some point. That is just their way of learning boundaries. Always be aware of that and stay calm. You losing your shit is not helping. Ever. Be a loving, caring and understanding father. But be cosequent and consistent.

   5. When setting boundaries, don’t set them to narrow. Always leave as much room as possible for your kids to move freely. But boundaries that are set, are not open for discussion, unless you see that you made a big mistake. Eroding your boundaries will lead your kids to not accepting them anymore in later instances. That is where you need to be consistent.

10. Start by being present and actively parenting without needing to be asked by your partner. That’s somethin kids notice quick.

    Model the behaviors you want em to learn, communicate effectively, shower em with love, don’t withhold love just cuz they screwed up, give em as many tools for success as you can without doing all the work for them, teach them independence, teach them judgment skills, stand by them even when their path isn’t what you’d choose, etc.

11. Teach them that you don’t get awards for showing up nobody oers you anything, you fonte always get what you want to or deserve, be grateful for what you have, and if you want something work for it

12. Don’t be their best friend

13. Make them earn their rewards. It will teach them a work ethic and they’ll appreciate the reward much more if they earned it vs just handed to them.