Hi, people have been telling me that I seem cold and suspicious when I first meet others, and off-putting when I interact with new people. This was a big surprise to me and it’s making me pretty self conscious. I’m really embarrassed, I always thought I was fairly self-aware. I am really a very caring person and always thought of myself as someone who can make friends easily, appeared very nice, polite and usually smiling, etc. The thing with that, though, is that a lot of friends I have made in the past turn out to be short term or develop into a distanced friendship. I give people their space, maybe too much in retrospect, but I’ve been in situations where I give too much and end up very hurt. I also don’t want to overwhelm people like I have been in the past. I know I’m not perfect, but no one is and I try to keep it real with my friends. To me, honesty is one of the most respectful things we can do for one another. I don’t know… I’m beginning to feel like an alien and others telling me this is not only hurtful emotionally, it also affirms my habits of self-isolation so I am afraid to meet new people and show my personality if it is so off-putting.
Advice?