The guy I’m dating and I have only been together a few months. We are in an official relationship, but it is very new. We got into a pretty big argument this weekend where I unintentionally embarrassed him in front of his friends.
I won’t get into the specifics, but he told me that something like that makes him feel like we are not meant to be in a relationship together and that we are incompatible. And he said that if he ever saw behavior like that from me again he would break up with me. He also mentioned that he feels like we bicker a lot about small things and have different upbringings that result in us arguing a lot, which I agree with.
However, I feel like just because two people are different does not mean that we are incompatible, we are still learning each other and what our boundaries are and what we should and shouldn’t say around each other..
I apologized profusely but then he brought it up again the next day, it clearly still bugging him. I started crying and asked if he wanted to stay with me despite our bickering over the weekend and he said he did but that he is worried about our long-term relationship. I continue to cry throughout the night and he told me to stop that he didn’t want to hurt me and that we would be together as long as we were both happy and it was not his intention to hurt me because he never wants to see me sad. And he told me that everything would be OK and that he is willing to see how things go from here and gave me a kiss goodbye.
He texted me like normal the last few days but I haven’t seen him, I’m scared to be the one to ask him to meet up. He hasn’t acknowledged our fight since, but I’m just questioning a lot of things now and feeling really insecure and anxious about our relationship going forward. We talked about everything for an entire day the day after that argument and it just resulted in me apologizing and crying but he comforted me in the end.
I don’t wanna bring it up again but I can’t help feel anxious about the future. I’m not really sure what I should do from here. I feel like I’m walking on eggshells bc my last boyfriend would threaten to break up with me over little arguments all the time and I’m worried that it’s going to be the case in our relationship and that is not something I wanna deal with. At the same time I feel awful about our fight this weekend and the way I acted and I’m worried he’s going to bring it up again or that he still resents me for it or that he’s still considering breaking up with me even though we talked about it. I apologized so many times and he knows I’m sorry, so I probably shouldn’t bring it up again right? But should I feel this anxious/worried he’s going to leave? What should I do?
2 comments
In my opinion, you don’t and shouldn’t apologize again. I don’t like that he can’t move on. I also don’t like how he threatened to end things on an unintended mistake. He needs to be more tolerant. People make mistakes. You will make more mistakes in the future and as long as you don’t repeat these mistakes, he shouldn’t lash at you everytime. This will make you become scared of every action you do and that’s not a way to live your life. I feel like you should talk to him about this. You seem to care for him and if you don’t get it sorted with him now, it will repeat and it will lead to you walking on egg shells all the times. Communication is key. Good luck out there!
I don’t think you should leave for such a reason. I had such continuous arguments with my girl in the first months of the relationship. It got more intense due to stress resulted by school and whatnot. We even considered a breakup and ended in tears.
We’re happy together now and i couldn’t ask for a better partner. We just matured together. We started to work on our communication and took it as a priority. Consciously trying to find problems in our ways and genuinely trying to better ourselves for each other. We had insecurities and i personally was too sensitive and had anger issues. So u can only imagine how bad it was. The solution wasn’t to leave but to better ourselves. We dissected the problems and found their origins, worked on every problem on its own, realised our own deal breakers and desires, and each one if us worked on his own problems. We found out that by fixing our relationship problems we ended up becoming even better people, we got healthier and happier, more confident and secure and many other good things. It took two years tho so yea. That takes a lot of time and trust. M even on reddit because she was showing me screenshots of people’s problems so that we fix them in ourselves without taking things personally or attack each other lmao. I hope things get better for u two and remember to take every life event as a learning experience.
(This is my 2nd reddit comment and English isnt my first language so excuse my eng.)