I’m a F21 currently hooking up with a M23. We initially matched on Hinge because we have a lot in common- have the same humor, career paths, upbringing, etc. We’ve entered the territory where we are going on some dates and causally hooking up and it seems like this is sort of turning into a FWB thing more so than a talking stage.
I definitely don’t mind being a FWB for a bit but being honest with myself I do think I could see myself wanting something more serious with him down the line. It seems like he went into this with me not wanting anything serious but we have surreal chemistry (at least from my perspective) and can’t tell if he can or will ever change his mind on that. It still feels too soon to like sit him down and talk about our goals or what we’re trying to get out of this. I’ve just been enjoying the momentum and don’t want to cut it by accidentally saying something that freaks him out.
Ive been pulling back on how much casual sex we have in fear that I be stuck in a FWB box that I can never get out of. How can I position myself in a way that keeps his interest but doesn’t limit his potential with me and how he sees me in the future?
15 comments
Talk to him?
limited knowledge as I only saw one fwbs couple go and become a real couple cause the girl kept on pushing for it and he caved in. It was a disaster and it still is
Yes it is possible.
Absolutely possible.
It’s never too soon to talk about what you are. It’s better to do it now, than wait and be hurt because your feelings aren’t the same
Ive had a couple FWB situations where “just sex” became something more. So yes its possible. Just gotta talk it out and see what they want to do. Also have to prepare to end it if they actually just want sex.
Omg just talk to him! It doesn’t have to be anything to serious but ask if he’d consider being exclusive for a while. If he says yea you on your way to a relationship and if he says no then clearly it’s not gonna work. I get you don’t eat to “scare him off” but by prolonging you’ll just get more attached and if he isn’t then it will be harder to break it off. Don’t be silly and just talk to him, your both grown adults and it’s quite simple to bring it up without making it to big a deal. Just ask, preferencing that it’s fine if not. I hope it goes well! Don’t wait to talk to him, and don’t pull away as he will think your not interested. Good luck!!
It’s possible but talking or spending other intimate time may be a better approach then having less sex.
You’re gonna have to talk to him instead of “positioning yourself to keep his interest”. That just seems like a game. If he’s interested it will become something if not it won’t.
Of course it’s possible. Don’t play games. Don’t use sex as a manipulative tool. Be honest and upfront. Take things one day at a time.
You have a right to know if he’s sexually active with other people – not to control him but to understand your sexual health risks.
In short. Yes.
Every girlfriend (excluding my wife) we’re all FWB.
Yes, my husband and I started out that way. Spend time together and be open and honest with eachother.
FWB tends to become something more, when you spend X amount of time with someone and have that intimacy, somebody is bound to start feeling more, its human nature. talk to him!!
i wish you all the luck!
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Possible? Yes if that’s what both people want but not always likely. Married my last casual partner.
But if you’re wanting more and aren’t clear on if he’s on the same page, he probably isn’t.
You can’t really manufacture/manipulate a scenario where he sees you differently. Amd if thats something you need to do it doesntbode well for the possibilities.
It’s about what he wants and what he’s ready for. And if he isn’t there this could end up getting you hurt. Just gauge where his head is by having a conversation.