Hi I’m female 19 and I never get approached by men, I do notice some of them staring at me , and sometimes they look nervous or intimidated around me but I don’t really understand why , over the years I’ve started to put on more makeup and show more skin in hopes to get approached but I still find that rarely ever happens, what should I do?
25 comments
Approach them.
People don’t tend to just walk up to people and start a conversation in real life, they don’t know your situation. Dating apps or some sort of group activity is best if you want to find someone
If you’re very pretty they automatically assume that you already have a bf and don’t want to “waste their time”. If you are interested in any of the ones staring at you, smile at them and make eye contact.
i don’t think showing more make-up…more skin would make ppl approach you faster. In my opinion an approach would be easier if you are in a group or in an environment where it’s less awkward to just approach someone. Well culture wise I don’t know where you are from but as a more or less shy german guy the only times i felt alright approaching a girl was at parties or holidays or when we had the same hobby. But I’m sure the majority of guys would not mind if you approach them or start the conversation on your terms. Good luck though and one thing is clear, appearance maybe helps with an approach but to be interesting, the chemistry has to fit and finding a way to talk freely. ✌️
unfortunately miss as you can tell by this comment thread most men are scared shitless to approach a woman they are interested in. but you can hint your interest at them by staring at them and seeing if you can hold eye contact a bit and look away shyly and look back at them. maybe that will trigger him to approach you. other than that start going out to bars and clubs or join a class like dancing or yoga to meet guys that will approach you.
I’m male and I simply don’t approach woman because that is scary, awkvard and I don’t know a single thing about them. You are more likely to be asked out if you are in social circles or dropping hints. Woman do approach me and I respect that, but it feels too sudden, one moment I don’t know they exist and the other I get confessed to, so I automatically reject. I assume women would react the same way. There was a 10/10 woman in the gym that smiled and asked my ig and I just froze up and missed my chance, but that was a learning experience for me to gain confidence so I hope next time I’ll be prepared, asking out or flirting really takes a lot of balls, so respect to anyone who can do that. So I guess my advice would be don’t be like me or you’ll die alone.
I have thought about this a lot over the years. I am never approached either. I have tremendous social anxiety and I believe that I put off that vibe strongly. I suspect I look uncomfortable and shut down when out in the world. I don’t make eye contact with people and have a closed-off posture.
You have to approach them, or at least let them know you’re interested in a relationship in some way, as make-up doesn’t really say much.
Smile at them.
Approaching random people, especially females, is generally not done often anymore. Being a good looking stranger is just that; a good looking stranger
You have to be in the right situation or place. Are there men that approach women in the street? Yes. This isn’t always encouraged or welcomed though. Parties or bars/clubs (you may not be able to get into some of them yet) are usually a scene where that’s a regular thing. Gatherings with friends are good scenes for that also.
Maybe it’s for the same reason you don’t approach them?
And every time I try to approach a women I’m always turned away or told no. As a female you might have a better chance however if you were to approach them!
Unless you go to places where it’s less awkward and appropriate to be approached such as (a party, bar, social setting). You might have to hint at wanting to talk others or even start talking first. We live in a time where social anxiety is rampant and a serious problem soooo both men and women tend to be intimidated by social interactions.
A few ways to get approached by men // approach them in a way that doesn’t feel like you’re approaching them:
• If you feel like they are interested but can’t find an opening, ask for their help [ex. “(Street) Hey do you know where XX is? I’m lost” “(In class) Do you have a pen I can borrow? Broke mine” “(Bookstore) Would you recommend this or that title? Trying to buy a gift”]. It’s the modern-day equivalent of oops I dropped my handkerchief, guys who’ll swoop in to save your day will feel like they made the first move. If they are a bit slow/shy to take advantage of the opportunity to continue the conversation immediately, follow up with gratitude and a joke (ex. “you really saved me there, my hero”), a soft smile and few seconds of eye contact, and you’ve made it as easy as possible for anyone who finds you attractive to ask you for your number or flirt or whatever. If they don’t pick it up, then they weren’t interested or they’re just too nervous, you can’t help anymore in that case.
• Dating apps (men are much braver on those lol, literally you don’t need to do anything else but make sure to post some good pics and just wait a bit or swipe a few times, depending on which app you use. I loved Bumble the most but it doesn’t seem to fit your needs, I recommend choosing apps like Tinder if you’re fine with literally any type of guy or approach, like if you literally just want to say you’ve been approached lol then go on Tinder, or apps like Hinge if you want to shoot for classy/family-guy-type men who are less likely to offend you by accident)
• Just smile more // try not to look too serious, scared, or unhappy (there’s nothing wrong with being serious, just looking bubbly and kind is more likely to help you be approached more). Guys are really sensitive to your nonverbal cues because they really don’t want to creep you out. If you feel them staring at you but you’re studiously ignoring it instead of acknowledging it with friendly energy, you’re more likely not going to be approached. Be aware of how open/closed you appear.
• Lastly, love that you’re mastering your makeup and style, but what are you doing with your hair? I swear, having great hair makes you sexier than perfect makeup or showing skin can. Hairography is a real thing LOL, it’s why you have all those movie scenes where girls flip their hair to make a guy fall in love. It won’t directly make a guy approach you but if your game is perfect in every other aspect, this should definitely help push a guy to be that much more likely to seek your attention. Get some hairstyling products and a curling iron and learn how to give yourself a blowout, babe. Here’s a link to my favorite easy everyday hair tutorial: https://m.youtube.com/watch?v=ooencNpqjtg
Hope that helps! Good luck, hope you attract the energy you’re looking for 🙂
Probably because they’re afraid you are going to reject them
If you’re 19, you might look younger than that to many adult men. Im on a military training base so everyone is an adult teen, but to my old ass, they look quite adolescent. They look younger and younger every year!
We suck at approaching women. Now there are a few social anomalies within the male demographic that just have that Pablo Escobar/Brad Pitt confidence but for the most part, we would rather swipe left or right on tinder so that we can comfortably deal with possible rejection within the safety of our own homes.
Men won’t approach because there’s so much that could go wrong these days. The balls in your court, no pun intended.
Approach them. Trust me guys love it when you do that. It takes some pressure off us to start the conversation.
Lol imagine guys approaching every woman wearing makeup and showing skin. They’d be in jail
men dont approach women in fear of appearing creepy
its you, women, who need to be approaching men if you want anything
**You** should make the first move, because men who approach women are usually creeps.
We’re worried that our approach is unwanted and/or get labeled as creeps. Your best bet is to initiate
Men suck at approaching women imo. I had to approach my boyfriend, if I hadn’t I doubt we would even be together or that he would of ever approached me.
But just be yourself, your beautifully authentic self and you’ll naturally just feel more comfortable and at ease and more approachable.
But please never feel like you have change for anyone by wearing more makeup or showing more skin just to get attention off men. I’m sure you’re perfect the way you are.