As a 29 year old man I’ve only used dating apps until 2021 when I was ready to start dating again I wanted to get off of dating apps.
They’re shallow and you cannot guage personality, plus most of the time you ended up talking to that person so much that you don’t have any mystery left when you go on a date, so I started making efforts to build up my confidence to talk to women in real life.
On Saturday I saw to girls sitting and just having a conversation at a popular viewing spot of my city’s river valley. I saw locks on the fence when I had an opportunity I caught their attention and told them the meaning behind those locks from a school trip to France where it’s common on a bridge over a canal.
I was able to hold the conversation for about 10mins we talked about our travels and interests, but then it got awkward we sat in silence I had nothing left to say so I left.
though I should’ve tried to ask for their numbers or to go on a date but I felt it was better to go since we had no connection but I’m happy that my social skills are getting better!
Conversations with random people is difficult for me because I’m very introverted I have to learn social cues and how to interact with people, this was a massive step!
8 comments
Great job. Do plenty of those where you don’t ask for the number. Then it will build character and values.
Not expecting anything in return is how you will end up getting the numbers even easier. Because they will not understand why you didn’t ask for the number. Even walk away for a few seconds and return respectfully saying hey id love conversation with you more if you don’t mind me calling you?
#Drluhv
Getting comfortable talking to people in general is great! I would just like to mention it may have been a bit awkward if you had asked for both of their numbers so that actually may have turned out for the best 🙂
Good job. There is an acronym for when the conversation falls like this, ASS: always say something. Talk about the clouds, or something you did last week, the color of something in the room, anything.
Have an end goal in mind before you start the conversation too. You want to get contact information and move on. Say something like, “it’s been super great to meet and chat, but I gotta run, important things to do, before I go, give me your (phone, Instagram, etc) and let’s get together again soon”
Don’t ask, assume they’ll give it to you.
Congrats! I get criticized a lot in this subreddit for suggesting people talk to random strangers, but for people that are shy or have social anxiety, it’s a great way to get over that anxiety, and just learn to interact with people.
I don’t think you should ever go into it with the express intent of “getting someone’s number.” That’s a little creepy. But if you’re just like, “He/she is cute. I think I’m going to try to talk with them.” No harm in that. The worst they can say is “No” or kind of brush you off. And that’s not a death sentence! It’s part of the process of building conversational confidence.
I wish I would have learned a lot younger not to fear rejection. It’s just part of life, and the sooner you can come to terms with it, the easier your life will be.
I am always baffled by these posts. Like, how does that work, you go there you say hi and they actually talk you back and have a chat with you? No one line answers or dry conversation-avoiding replies? What is this, sci-fi?
Wasn’t there a phone service company for women to give fake phone numbers too that tells them explicitly of they called the number they would be the ones to like tell them to fuck off
Congrats! It’s a big deal 👍🏻
You go dude!