All my life I’ve been called ugly. The first instance I remember was when I was 12 and a friend of mine called me “deformed”, all I did was try and laugh along with it but he didn’t know how much it hurt me.
When I was 13, I was at a birthday party and this little girl who was next to me called me ugly, what sucks even more is that little kids tend to be brutally honest too. Some guy asked why my ears were longer than his dick. I was called ugly by this guy in my art class. I’ve had many people give me mean looks and constantly giggled around me while staring.
At the age of 16 I was called deformed by another one of my friends and when I told him I was insecure about how I looked he didn’t even apologize. Another friend of mine told me to pull my face mask down and he said something along the lines of “let me see that beautiful face of yours” and when I pulled it down he cut off his sentence and said “nevermind”. Earlier this week another girl said that I was very funny looking
How do I handle all these remarks towards me? They’ve driven me to the point where I’ve been suicidal and I don’t know how much more I can take.
31 comments
Breath. You are going to have a wonderful life if you let yourself.
Don’t let others have any control over you, especially those who have no value in your life.
Kids can be mean assholes, teens too. And adults.
Insults only work if you let them stick. Harden your skin to insults, know what they look like, have compassion for those whose lives are so bitter that their only way of feeling good is to tear others down.
Ahh man this reminded me of my days in school and college and being called fat every so often. How I came out of it was to pay no mind to them or sometimes take it in a joking manner and play a joke over myself without seeming too self deprecating. That shows confidence about yourself and I am sure those kids don’t have a smidge of it lol.
Sorry this happened to you my dude and I hope you have an amazing rest of your life!
I’m sorry you’ve had to go through this, it sucks to be criticized for your appearance. I think the best thing you can do is try to ignore comments like these. The problem is those other people and not you. I can guarantee that some of those people are probably insecure themselves, and many people insult others based on looks to feel better about their own appearance. Maybe consider making other friends or hanging around different people since you say some of your friends have said these things. Some joking around etc in friendships is normal but if they’re insulting you to your face that’s different
Also since you mentioned you’ve felt suicidal perhaps consider seeing a therapist if that’s an option for you. It can be life changing
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Dude don’t worry I’ve been ugly my whole life and I’m married to a woman that is actress level hot. Reality is that women don’t care about looks as much as you think.
Everyone has negatives and positives.. your friend probably has a little dick and is deflecting on to you. Or he’s poor or not as smart as you.
Personally, I think I naturally developed a good sense of humor and personality due to having to make up for my below average looks. Focus on your health and becoming a funny sociable guy and brush off the haters.
And if you think about it, being the most handsome guy isn’t great either. Ppl assume you’re stupid and women treat you like a piece of meat (might sound good now but it’s not a good feeling to have permanently).
If I can do it then you can to bro
What you’re talking about is isolated incidents in the teen years, when everyone is meaner. If you didn’t hear comments from stranger adults as a child, if your doctor hadn’t said “I can fix that for you”, if your parents/teacher hadn’t sat you down and had a heart to heart about living with a birth defect, then you’re not a deformed weirdo.
If you are having suicidal thoughts THAT is a real medical condition that needs to be addressed. Go to the doctor, a school counselor, your parents, or some trusted adult to talk about getting help. Despair is a legit condition that you can consider as a disease that needs to be treated. If you’re not sure how to explain to you parents needing to go to the doctor, just make up some bullshit about painful, heavy, long periods, or insomnia with vomiting. Then come clean in the exam room.
Those people are telling you “There is something profoundly wrong with me, and you should avoid me because, for now and maybe forever, I am a bad person.” Like crazy aggressive people who walk around playing loud music on bluetooth speakers, which helps you to know they are coming from farther away than you normally would.
Are you still in school? If so that’s a bit extra challenging because you’re forced to be around people you don’t choose. I strongly recommend talking to a guidance counselor or something like that and getting some help. If you don’t get good results (too many adults are incompetent at their jobs), try another resource person, whether inside or outside the school. Talk to your parents. It’s up to you when you want to be specific about the type of harassment you’re experiencing, or you can just say that you’re being bullied and harassed, which can be easier especially when you’re first talking about it.
Looks are complicated. As you get older you’ll learn more about finding a style that suits you really well. Sure, good looks are an advantage, but just one possible advantage among many. Look how many ‘perfect’ looking women have terrible jobs in the entertainment industry or date men who are clearly awful partners.
The people who treat you this way are abusive and toxic–they grew up around that kind of behavior (or there is something even more wrong with them). They will destroy people they supposedly love if they don’t change, and a good number will destroy themselves. Just stay away from them as much as you’re able, they aren’t worth your time or attention.
Why is that guy’s dick so short
work on your self confidence and dont let other’s opinions affect you, good people love you for who you are and treat you kindly , work on your personality and try to be the best version of you that is a good response
I looked ugly as hell when I was 16. Now I’m 30 and I’m looking quite normal. Have been called good looking occasionally.
Probably plastic surgery would be the way to go if all of this is true
i think nothing anyone can advice you that will help . Sharpen yourself in your passion that the other person has to respect you even if they don’t want to . Try to be so good and cheerful so that it can bother your bullies like why the heck is he so happy . This is the best which i can come up for now .
You can always workout and be physically intimidating if it works for you .
i don’t really know man but stay strong it will pass this is nothing in comparison to the problems in the world .
You can always relate to people who are inferior than you and be happy that where millions die in poverty you are blessed with many things which others are not so why waste time on some freak idiot who calls you ugly.
I draw on the Jay Z lyric “Ain’t no such thing as an ugly billionaire. I’m cute.”
I don’t think becoming a “billionaire” is necessary. But it speaks to becoming such a master of your domain that people look past your appearance.
Find your passion and work harder than anyone in your domain. Then watch all of em come flocking back to you 😂
Idk what it’s like to be called ugly, but I’ve been picked on for my weight. People who bully others don’t need much of an excuse. They will find the smallest things and blow it out of proportion. That has the unfortunate consequence of warping our perception of ourselves. I’m telling you, it’s most likely not as it seems. Unless you’re actually deformed, the majority of people don’t give a fuck about how you look. And if they do, that says more about them, not you. This stage in life will pass. Kids are rough. Don’t end your life just yet! I wanted to because of the bullying, but I’m glad that I didn’t. Now I’m 23 and have more power over my life then ever before. That only happens after adolescence. And the bullying will for the most part stop. Even if, once in awhile, you’ll hear disrespectful remarks, you’ll already have a lifetime of resilience to buffer it out. The best advice I can give is to not pretend that their comments are not offensive. That’s giving them permission to keep going. I wouldn’t laugh and in a serious tone, I would say “I’m gonna go talk to someone else for awhile. Come talk to me when you’re ready to stop commenting on my physical appearance.” The objective is to not give them your attention, and make it clear it’s because they said something offensive. Another thing you can do is literally walk away. Saying nothing can leave an even stronger message. As long as you make it clear that you’re rejecting them because of what they said.
I was super ugly all before college, then I started working out and losing weight and all of a sudden I am handsome.
What is ugly and handsome is defined by society: I became fat again and became ugly again but I was still the same person with the same worth. Try not to let it affect you. If you act confident, you are confident.
People call you ugly because deep down they are insecure about themselves and helps them feel better by putting down an easy target. Don’t care about them . Work on yourself emotionaly and physically (not because of someone else’s opinion ) but objectively on what you feel is best!
You aren’t ugly, they are.
That is terrible. No one has any right to speak to you that way. I am so sad to read this.
Find something you like about your appearance and take joy in it. You don’t have to like everything, but notice your positive features.
You know what washes away ugly -!!!
Money 🙂 and lost of it
Get to work handsome -!!!
You develop a personality and humor. Find what you are good at. Focus on that.
I am from a place everyone teases me on being short and ugly lmao
I have a high forehead
All the women I have liked don’t reciprocate
Mao I said fuck it
Find something you love and do it with all the energy you have towards it
Eventually it will move you to be a person of purpose
Everyone has a different definition of beauty. Just bc those people said those things doesn’t mean it’s true. In one ear, out the other. I know it’s easier said than done, but once you believe you’re beautiful, what anyone says won’t matter, all that matters is what you think of yourself. You’re worth more than the opinion of a handful of people.
Listen to me very carefully, you will set yourself free when you stop caring what others think or say. I learned this a long time ago and it has improved my mental health by a lot. People can be assholes and they usually are because they are insecure about something in their life, happy kind people don’t treat people like that. Please don’t ever hurt yourself, your life is precious and worth living for. You may be down down but things will turn around for you, trust me. I need you to tell yourself that your fucking fantastic and you don’t care what others say or do, let them be assholes … that’s on them not you!!!! Please know your worth, it’s everything. Keep telling yourself that.
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Bro in real life after school nobody’s that much of an asshole really you might get occasional ass holes but people are generally smarter + have common sense than teenagers
I don’t think anyone’s ugly tbh and even if they were I would never look at their flaws rather look at their strengths
I learned in my 20+ yrs of life that being ugly isn’t the end the game.
You can improve your look for 1 but mainly looks catch peoples attention while personality keeps peoples attention.
Be dope af, manly af & watch the opposite gender flock / fight over you.
I feel this so much. A thought that helps me is being aware that some will be better looking than I, but I will be better looking than some. Mirror work helps a lot, too. Find something you love about yourself, no matter how “small” or “silly” or “unimportant” it may seem. I find that many times, growing up in a toxic household really affects your self-esteem. If you grew up without parents telling you how smart and lovely you are, it will be difficult for you to believe these things yourself. And that is okay. We humans can unlearn and learn these ways of thinking. Do you have a PCP, or someone you can contact to talk about this with? I don’t know where you are located, but if you happen to (unfortunately) live in the U.S., you can call or text 988, 24 hours a day. You matter. You are loved and deserve so much more than this. You are not alone.
Those people are absolute monsters. I get the little kids, but the others have no excuse.
I don´t really like the idealistic comments like: “Beauty is subjective”, “Don´t be bothered, everyone is insecure about something”, and all that, cause when you read them you think “these people don´t get it, they just repeat nice sounding cliché lines, they don´t know me” (at least I think that).
But, despite inevitably feeling down about it sometimes, the truth is that looks are less important to people each day, and comments like that are becoming less common each day as well.
And, when you think about it, how does someone´s look define them? It´s first impressions, and that is it. When you get to know someone, you don´t even think of their looks. A few months ago I met a guy who had a fallen eyelid. Basically an almost fully closed eye all the time. He could barely see with it. At first it caught my attention, then I became friends with him and never even thought about it since the day I met him until he pointed it out himself and told me how insecure he was about it.
But hey, if that´s not comforting enough, you can still get jacked, no one´s gonna bully you then xD
I don’t know how to handle it either. I’d be super aggressive and be like ‘haha, well, wanna know how it feels like? My fist is always ready’
But it wouldn’t go down well.
How about you press your lips, go silent and stare at the person calling you ugly? “That’s not very nice.” And just stare.
Most people try to explain it away as a joke, in which case you stand firm. “You don’t see me laughing, because it isn’t one and you know it.”
Leave if they don’t quit it, or if other people start supporting them. “You’re not respecting my feelings on this. You’ve insulted me. You don’t care if my feelings are hurt. Excuse me.”
And then I would just never speak to them again. Or if I really had to, I’d just talk to them normally, like I never said anything wrong. Because defending yourself isn’t wrong.
It’s not gonna get you many friends, but then again, they aren’t worth getting to know if they don’t care.
If you’re talking about how to handle past hurts based on these remarks, well, the other commenters have already given good advice.
Gym. All you need.
Idk how old you are but all these examples are remarks given by children and teens. Adults are not this immature, so just know it will get better. It is not worth taking your life over, if you are still a teen then you are not fully developed so you can have your glow-up moment. Also, you don’t need to be conventionally-attractive to live a good life and find love. Just hold on to hope, and see a therapist to help you with your self-esteem, confidence, and cherishing the other many beautiful qualities you possess.
Honestly, I think you should find something you enjoy doing in life and become really good at it to the point where people see past your appearance like others stated in this thread. You could also focus on your career and understand that the attraction comes with it. Another thing you could do is improve your looks. Many normal/below average people just come to acceptance with what they look like and end up thriving in life.