So I (M19 y/o) actually don’t have any friends. Or at least this is what it feels like for me. (This is all in the Netherlands btw fyi for the possible school confusion)
After highschool all the people I knew took a different study route (which is normal) and since then I’ve basically not been actual friends with anyone. Right now I’m just in a cycle of me going to school on Monday and then work for the rest of the week (combo of working and learning). Then in the evenings and weekends I just play games with my online “friends”? I don’t really see them as friends since, well we don’t do stuff IRL but only online. I like all the stuff we do and it’s a blast as always but it just feels a bit empty without any real life things to do.
I’ve always been social afaik, ( mostly to people i could connect with not just absolute strangers) up until like highschool. I still was with a girlfriend when we were both 13 going into highschool. But we both were very shy to each other and ended spending like 0 time with each other (mostly because of me honestly). Eventually she kinda obviously dumbed me but for the reasoning she said it was because I had a big nose? I guess that’s what dropped my self esteem completely even though I should’ve have taken that serious in any way or form.
So right now I’m basically in this endless loop of school work and free time being watching F1 or playing games and I just don’t know how to get out of it. I still have numbers of people i know from highschool that I could probably contact but their vibe just doesn’t match mine at all. I’m way more relaxed and they just wanna go party and get wasted doing so etc.
I just think I’m not getting any friends anymore in the future or even a S/O for that matter.
Idk if anyone else had the same situation as me, but if you did; how did you get out of it? Ty in advance
4 comments
Get involve in a church community and get involved in a youth group will literally change your life
A couple things
1. reach out to your old friends and ask them, “Hey do you want to get dinner or lunch some time soon?” This is a really good way to catch up with people you haven’t seen in a while. You get a good meal and you get to see an old friend.
2. If you’re in college. Join an a club or org. It’s a good place to find people with similar interests and mind sets. Great place for meeting new people in my experience.
3. And finally don’t be afraid to chit chat with your co workers. Work is pain, but being able to socialize and enjoy the time in-between work makes the experience more bearable. Some of the coolest people I’ve ever met in my entire life came from working in kitchens/retail in college. Some of them taught me life lessons that are still with me to this day.
Hope this helps!
Where in the netherlands are you at?
Honestly, I would speak to people you know from school and other places about your interests. For example tell them what games you play and to add your playstation account or pc whatever it is. Then if they are interested they might play with you sometimes leading to a real life friendship forming. This is how I got so close with a kid from school years ago and I am still friends with him today (because of fortnite lol).
Another way which is a bit more annoying is that you can pretend to like other peoples interests in order to get them to hang out with you. So maybe one night you go along to a party, you don’t even have to drink alcohol but you can still go and just act like you are drunk and copy what they do. I have one friend that literally has over 10 different friend groups because he becomes the person other people want him to be instead of himself. He laughs at all their jokes even when they are not funny, he pretends to know a little bit about their interests and then studies them before he meets with them again. Because we are such close friends I can see through this, but he is still fun to have around because he makes others feel better about themselves.
Hopefully this helps, good luck with it!