I’m in my mid 30s and haven’t dated, or wanted to, since I was 29. I’ve been through a lot of personal growth recently and got off some medications potentially killing my sex drive and my desire to date.
I recently met someone through work, and while we aren’t coworkers or work for the same company, our different jobs see each other a lot. I’m dying to platonically ask her for an after work drink.
However, what moats bothers me, is the fact I like her. The fact I think about her a lot and don’t want to. I miss the asexual lifestyle and being worry free about dating. I’m even starting to experience sadness when I don’t see her or don’t get to mingle with her…and I hate it! I guess this is what happens to a straight single man but I haven’t cared to date in 6+ years and am really annoyed that I am highly interested in someone. Ugh
1 comment
>got off some medications potentially killing my sex drive and my desire to date.
A strong sex drive will be your enemy. You will be driven by hormones instead of logic and reason,…resulting in doing all kinds of stupid stuff.
>I’m dying to platonically ask her for an after work drink.
Bad mistake. Once you go “platonic” you can almost never go back. You can not sneak in under the radar as “just a friend” and then “pop” your “feelings” on her later. Never works. Makes the whole “friend” thing fraudulent, and in most cases the woman will feel betrayed, “tricked”, and it just ticks them off. If it is going to be a date, then it needs to be a date right from the start. If she rejects it then she is rejecting a date and knows she is rejecting a date.
“Crushing” is just a street term for fantasizing. You create fantasies in your mind about how great it will be if you can just “get them”. But no one ever lives up to the fantasy you create in your mind. But it will emotionally start to feel like a relationship (in your mind) and when the bubble later gets “popped” it will almost feel like breaking up from a real relationship,…all over something that was never real and you caused yourself.
* You can’t go skiing until you learn to ski.
* You can’t go sky diving till you learn to sky dive.
* You can’t go dating (successfully) until you learn how to date.
Corey Wayne’s book “How to be a 3% Man” might be helpful. It is easy to find and doesn’t cost much.