I (25F) stayed friends with my ex (26M). We only dated for about six months, and he broke up with me almost a year ago. I wanted to keep dating.
I started becoming closer with some of his friends some time after the breakup and I found out that he was not thrilled about this. I guess it’s a bro code thing? Later I asked one of these friends for a big favor and my ex roasted him over it in front of the whole friend group as a joke but admitted privately he was upset. I told my ex I consider all his friends off-limits, but he turned it around and said I didn’t owe him anything and I can do whatever I want. He told me he could see why they would like me, I’m nice and pretty.
Fast forward to now and his best friend was wildly inappropriate with me while we were drunk. I told him and a couple others about it, and while everyone else gave me the “That’s not acceptable, are you okay?” my ex got so mad at me for telling him and kept saying how much he wouldn’t care if I dated his friends (I Don’t. Want. To!), and to stop treating him like he’s “some jealous ex.” I haven’t talked to him since.
Is he super done with me? Is he upset and hiding it?
7 comments
These people really don’t have a place in your life anymore it seems, I would say move on and don’t look back
Upset and hiding it, obviously the image of you with the friend “how he saw it” upset him. And he probably doesn’t want to admit his friend is an aggressive creeper.
But he definitely has feelings about it.
Do you have a different friend group or are these becoming like your closest friends.
If my ex was at a lot of my friend events I can’t say its not exactly a bad thing. They aren’t doing a single thing wrong. but it would still fuck me up seeing them all the time around the people I trust.
Just saying, from the other perspective usually you want to forget an ex exists so you can move on and it looks like youre very involved with the only people he has fun with.
There is no ironclad answer to this but here is one perspective.
Even if he is not jealous it is considered polite to never hit on your friends ex without permission. He may genuinely not care one bit if you are interested in them as you owe him nothing after the break up. It is purely their dishonesty in his eyes that angers him. Even if he was mildly jealous he doesn’t consider that your problem. He considers it his and expects his guy friends to respect that. Not to say this thinking is right or wrong, it is simply very common among guys.
Honestly unless it becomes a truely huge issue I suggest you shrug it off and do what makes you happy. Out of consideration if you do develop mutual feelings for any of them, perhaps sit down with all 3 of you to tell him out of respect. That said, you don’t even owe him that much frankly.
He’s throwing a temper tantrum
Ignore it
And don’t hang out with his ass BFF anymore. Focus on people who aren’t jerks.
His friends kept you around because they want to date you. It is odd that you are still hanging out with his friends after you broke up. You should be hanging out with your own friends.
Look, these people don’t sound like your friends. They are *his friends*. I would honestly detach from that entire group and move forward in a different direction, because this sound like middle school shit – he dumped you but is acting like he was dumped.
You are young. Don’t waste your time waiting around for someone that has dumped you to suddenly realize their mistake. You can do better than some dude that is on the fence and so called friends that would stand up for you and call him and that guy that was being weird out on their shit.