**A bit of a backstory:**
My girlfriend and I have known each other for a better part of a decade, and we have been in a relationship for over 4 years at this point. We’re both immigrants from completely different parts of the world.. We ended up meeting at school, the typical highschool sweethearts story.. I was a shy boy in a new school, she tried to talk to me, it’s almost like it’s from a movie.. I’d even changed classes (bilingual group) and ended up in the same class as her on accident.. We ended up dating in 2018 and we have been through a LOT together since…
**Onto the important bits:**
We grew up and went through changes into adulthood together, but being our completely different selves: She’s an equestrian jumper, I am a Software Engineering college student. Recently she got a job offer in Germany (over 1000 miles (1600+km) away from where I am currently studying) that is extremely good both for her formation as a jumper and economically. This isn’t the main part of the problem, but it does add to it. (we had been dating long distance for a year and we survived, even though it was far from perfect)
Less than an hour ago, she called me saying we needed to talk, and we talked about having lost our “spark”, the spontaneousness, all of the crazy things people do when they first fall in love. She said we act like little more than just a pair of good old friends and that nothing would change if we simply became friends, which is true I guess.. We still have feelings for each other, although she told me she sees me more as a part of her family at this point.
We agreed that we are extremely important to one another and that we would hate to lose each other and all of the things we do (late night calls where we just stay up until 4am talking about random stuff or just being able to be our true selves around each other, etc.). She suggested possibly breaking up amicably so that we can keep being the same way we are right now, simply without calling it a relationship, and while it seems like a good solution, I don’t think I would be able to treat her and feel the same way about her knowing that our relationship is over, even though not much would really change except our relationship status..
She leaves in little more than a month and I need advice on what to do with our relationship. I don’t think I would be able to continue being the same way to her I have been if we break up, even if we do end up as friends, but staying in the relationship will likely feel forced: we lost the spark because of routine (4 years of dating in an old, boring town will do that to you), and now she is about to leave to where I cannot follow, meaning we would be dating long-distance, which is tolerable but it certainly wouldn’t help us reignite anything after she leaves.
We are meeting up tomorrow morning to talk about this in person and with fresher minds after a good nights sleep.
**TL;DR:**
Girlfriend of 4 years says we lost the “spark” and we don’t act like more than good old friends, even though we still have feelings for each other. She leaves to work very far away in a month, suggests being friends but doesn’t want to lose the ability to be truly ourselves around each other. I don’t know if I will be able to stay this way even if we do part ways friendly. I need advice on how to handle it and hopefully ignite our relationship back, if possible in such a short time..