I am an American who is married to a Scot. My cousin-in-law is getting married this year, and I have no clue what is appropriate to wear. My husband tells me all the time that people in the UK dress up more so than a typical American. I don’t want to be over/under dressed or wear a fashion faux pas that is perfectly fine where I’m from. I am a planner, and formal wear is pretty seasonal here, so I’ll need to find something by September.

What I know about the wedding is it’s anywhere from semi-formal to formal, there is no set colors or theme, the bridesmaids are wearing silver. The mother’s are wearing trouser suits (jumpsuits). Both the bride and groom are fairly posh.

Are there lengths, fits, material, are are definite no goes?

Hat/fascinators? This one seems to be 50/50

Any suggestions you may have are welcome. Links/photos of examples would be wonderful!

Edit title: *woman

9 comments
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  2. I normally wear a nice dress and a blazer with smart shoes (heels or flats) to a wedding. It probably doesn’t need to be black tie formal. I would personally avoid jersey material as I think it’s a bit too casual, and I would avoid plain white or black. Otherwise most dresses should be fine. Nice jumpsuits or more formal separates would also be fine.

  3. A jumpsuit and trouser suit are completely different things.
    Any sort of winters formal dress plus a jacket will be fine. NB if it is a church wedding or stately home wedding it will be freezing 🥶

  4. Just wear smart casual. Not “Mother of the bride” obviously, but smart. Bear in mind that many younger females will be present, same age group as the bride [if I am right that she is “young”?] and they may be dressed in a trashy way. Don’t feel that makes you overdressed. It’s better to be well dressed than trashy. Don’t wear anything that is “over the top”, or of a very striking colour, like scarlet. A trouser suit would be fine, but if you are comfortable in a skirt suit that would be even better. Hats and gloves are almost never worn at weddings, except by the bridesmaids.

    Mid height heels on your pumps; remember you will be walking on grass for the photographs.

    Feel free to adopt an American persona. Don’t believe the remarks sometimes written that imply we are anti-American; if you doubt that just see how much of your tv soaps we watch here. But not over the top. Good luck.

  5. If it’s ‘semi formal to formal’ then think about what you would wear if your husband was wearing a dinner suit or a dress suit, and then consider what you think the next tier down of formality will be for your most formal boundary. The invite absolutely doesn’t say ‘smart-casual’ so think about what you would wear for that dress code and go smarter for your least formal boundary. Then pick an outfit somewhere between these two.

    Consider that there will be dancing and lots of standing around when planning footwear, and the time of year (December) suiting autumnal colours rather than summer colours – the UK is much more seasonal than many countries and the light (or lack thereof) can make a difference to what seems to wear well.

    Also it is totally acceptable to contact whoever has been put down as the contact on the invite (usually the bride, or maid of honour) and ask ‘what will ladies be wearing?’

    If you want my experience (which is as a man, but one who is ‘good with colours’ 😂) I think women in their 20s to mid 30’s tend towards well fitted dresses and women from their mid 30’s tend towards a matching jacket and skirt with a blouse. It’s a happy event, people tend to wear colours or pastels rather than neutrals, it is better to look too colourful rather than too drab. A ball gown would be too much, a cocktail dress to little, avoid anything you would wear to work, consider starting with your hat or fascinator and planning the outfit from there, avoid all black, all white, and whatever colour the bridesmaids are wearing.

    You’ll look fucking stunning though, own it 😆

  6. Have a look at what Hobbs are selling as wedding guest dresses – I’d consider [these](https://www.hobbs.com/occasion/wedding-guest/) appropriate for a semi-formal to formal wedding. You’ll have to wait until the next season’s lines show up though.

    Not white unless you’re the bride, not black unless you’re actually going to a funeral, and red says you slept with the groom.

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