When a woman says that they like a funny guy in their profile, I always assume a funny opener is the best way to go. I am actually pretty funny it’s one of my best traits, but I really struggle with funny openers without seeming forced.
Looking for advice on how to show that I’m funny but without it being a lame joke.
22 comments
I’ve had more luck just opening like you would if they were standing in front of you, and then integrate your personality/humor into the conversation. It’s far more natural.
I don’t think you’re meant to be funny immediately in conversation- but I also think it’s weird if women state that. Of course we want someone we find amusing! 🤷♀️ I wouldn’t overthink it. Showcase that on a date.
What I think it means, at least for me 43F, is that don’t be a grumpy guy or a negative person. it’s not like we want a clown 🤡 hehe. We are just looking for someone that is not too serious and negative. I think also funny comes naturally so if the opener feels forced don’t try it. Just be yourself.. good luck!
It’s so hard to be funny though texting, I love humour and I think I’m hilarious but it really doesn’t come out if I force it.
I think you’re better off just going for natural chemistry, asking a few questions and ask to meet up for a coffee or a drink before the conversation goes stale
If it was easy, you wouldn’t be standing out!
I don’t have an OLD profile right now, but I’d probably put ” likes stand up comedy” as a trait I want in a guy. I love stand up and I think people who watch a lot tend to have a sense of humor I liked. I could even list a few of my favorites to see if out taste matched
I definitely wouldn’t focus too much on funny openers if they feel forced. Maybe there’s a clever way to reference your sense of humor in your bio so that you don’t feel as much pressure in the opening message.
I ignore that shit. It feels like 75% or more of women’s profiles have some variation of “make me laugh.” At that point, it’s meaningless. And on top of that, not everyone is a comedian. I think what matters is that if she’s attracted to you *and* your brand of humor gets a rise out of her, you’ll be on her short list of suitors.
I don’t stress about it. I talk to my matches like they’re normal people, ask them on dates, and see how things unfold. Some first dates are very serious. Others are full of laughter. I’ve gone on to date women for a while after both variations of first dates.
I will, however, note that of the handful of one night stands I’ve had, they’ve all laughed quite a bit at my dumb jokes.
Being cheerful can get you the date where you can be as funny as you want
Yes, if the funny comment relates to their profile. Better to make your overall profile funny in general
“Please be funny” = I’m boring and unoriginal, you’re gonna have to carry the conversation.
The best jokes have a build up. Don’t just hit ‘em with a punch line right away. Start normal and then throw some humor into the conversation.
You should just chill and don’t overthink this. You don’t want to try be funny to attract women, just be who you are and let your personality shine in a natural way. I honestly can’t stand when guys write on their dating profile like a checklist of what they’re searching for. It already sets a judgmental tone and you might think like oh that’s not me, I’m not like that exc. you want people who just want to get to know you and see if you both fit together.
Insert a little joke into your bio. I’ve had good success with that, creates a conversation starter for the other person
I ave learned that when people look for funny they actually mean someone that will laugh about their jokes.
honestly, I pass on these ones because they’re typically boring.
I used to have this in my profile. Then changed it to “please be interesting”, the “please don’t be boring”. Then I removed it because I think it’s kinda a dick-ish thing to say.
But, I never meant “hit me with a joke” I just meant that I wanted to be with a funny, interesting person! “Funny” openers are very rarely funny imho.
Funny openers are hard unless they’ve got something in their profile that give you and your style of humor a way in. But it’s easy to be funny if they ask you a question that you can easily give a ludicrous answer to. Like: “what do you do for work?” That’s a softball question you can make up anything obviously absurd and as long as it’s not obscene or violent, it usually goes over very well.
Example: I’m an exotic dancer at a retirement home for geriatric homosexuals.
I used that one once and it went over very well.
Without knowing what some people find funny, it can be pretty difficult to be funny. Even then, knowing what they say they like isn’t the same as knowing them well enough to genuinely amuse them.
I mean, I find horrifically bad puns quite amusing, but they are absolutely down to timing. I enjoy silly discussions, enjoying absurd situations… all that.
But there’s no way you can convey any of that in either a bio or an opening message, so, I would say don’t worry about trying to tick a box. You’ll create more stress than it’s worth.
Read anyone who says they want someone funny as ‘I would like to be entertained by the conversation’ and if your humour doesn’t work, it’s not a personal failure… they just weren’t right for you.
I like to repeat this to anyone who asks me about these things – It’s not a test and it’s not a job application. Some people change their profile every day or more because they feel like they’re not catching enough people. If you being yourself isn’t good enough, don’t try being someone else.
I don’t think you need to be funny as your opener. As a matter of fact, starting out ‘normal’ and THEN saying something (or somethingS) funny is a nice surprise, and actually, in its own way, more attention grabbing.
In one of my OLD profiles, the site uses bubbles so you can highlight hobbies and interests, but it shows up at the bottom of the profile. So instead of highlighting hobbies and interests there, I use the bubbles to make a joke–break up a funny thought into little parts for effect. I get more contacts from that than almost anything else in my profile–even from people acknowledging I’m not their type/they aren’t mine–that say thanks for the laugh, I’d love to chat.
So, I’m a 47/F and YMMV, but still. Don’t discount the end of your profile instead of the beginning–after all, what’s the first thing people will remember when they navigate away? The last thing you said.
I think they might just mean someone with a sense of humour, and not necessarily someone that has to treat getting to know them like a stand-up skit.
So don’t be funny in an opener? It’s higher odds of backfiring if you miss the target, tbh. Go for sincere, feel out her sense of humor, then roll with it?