Been contemplating my relationship recently with my boyfriend and need some advice.
For context – I am a 30yr female with a stable income (around 100k) in Toronto. My partner is 39 yr earning about the same. We are a great match personality wise and I do enjoy all the time we spent together and feel very much in love, however, I am wandering if he would be a good candidate to start a family with.
I have some savings in the bank enough to put down a down payment for a small condo in downtown Toronto. My partner, on the other hand, has very little saved. I am constantly learning personal finance and would like to start a family soon. But it seems like he doesn’t have a clear plan about that.
Given the current housing market, it will require savings and a good job from both sides if we want to remain our current lifestyle as well as start a family in Toronto in the near future (my partner is from Toronto and wouldn’t want to move to other cities) but I don’t think we can achieve that with our current earnings.
If he is 5 years younger in his early 30th, then I will feel more confident that we could build a saving together.
Is it too materialistic of me to think that he might not be too financially well positioned enough to be my further partner? Or this is completely rational? I need some advice.
2 comments
No, you are right to have those concerns. Thinking into the future is a MAJOR key to success especially when wanting to start a family. There’s so many things that can go wrong and without a little cushion saved things can get dicey, FAST.
I would have a sit down talk with him and express your concerns to him. This is your life, your future and your children’s future as well. See what he says, maybe he needs some pointers/tips/help or maybe he didn’t think as deep into things as you did. You’re a team and one member of your team is lacking in a certain area, You’re there to help them up. I wouldn’t worry about a mans age. Sperm works till we die (lol).
My ex gf was HORRIBLE with money, I mean spending $750-900 a month on junk (Daily Starbucks, Food, Omg I like those shoes – add to cart, 5 subscriptions etc..), I had to sit down with her and go through all the finances and show her a better way to budget because she wasn’t saving much if anything. It was an eye opening experience for her. But she got much better though and started to save, unfortunately it didn’t workout for other reasons. We’re around your age for context.
Could always build equity in a condo and sell it in a year or 2 to throw down on a single family home (Market should be a little better by then, what goes up, must come down). Wish you the best op!
I mean ditch him if you like, but he already seems to be in the upper income bracket, how likely is it that the next guy you’ll date happens to be in the same upper percentile?