I don’t see myself as someone that women would be attracted to

6 comments

1. Youre only 18, stop thinking you’re the finished product and go and build a life. You’ve had no experiences or time or met enough people to even decide on this.

2. Try dating males it is entirely possible that it isn’t that your bad at romance and more likely that estrogen plays more of a role then you think. I stumbled across this fact when I got hit on by more males then females and found far less value conflicts with this dynamic at that. Even if your not gay confirming the issue is estrogen has value since it reveals the root cause.

   There is nothing worse then trying to solve a problem without adequate information. I want to be very clear I am not suggesting you change the gender you date but rather I am suggesting you sample the role the primary female brain chemical plays by removing that parameter. If you find no issues at all then you can remove romance deficits as a factor entirely. If you still have just as many issues you can remove brain chemistry as a factor in both cases your resolving a narrower issue which is easily more effective.

   I am also aware this is potentially unethical but so is being rejected based on a misperception and that happens all the time so par for the course I say.

3. Be patient, ur time shall come. Some are quicker/ luckier/ put more effort in certain things than others and therefore accomplish them. Whatever the reason is, i definitely wouldn’t recommend u comparing urself to others, because on a certain level there must be tons of things u have that a lot of ur peers would love having too and they too would probably be thinking: why does he get to have sth so effortlessly and i can’t! That’s the first thing u gotta do in my opinion; focus on urself and don’t compare to others.

   Other than that, u just have to keep putting in the effort: work on ur looks, learn new things, develop ur mentality.. etc and at some point, girls will be coming at u, it will just be the byproduct of what you’ve achieved. Trust me, this shit works. I can tell, cuz i was in ur shoes at some point.

   Oh yh, one last thing, u have to be prepared to get rejected a lot of times. Don’t let this get in ur way or demotivate u! Rejection is healthy and is a part of the game. Good luck buddy!

4. You might be trying too hard to impress or flirt… sometimes that scares girls away because … it kind of feels like they are being pressured to want the relationship too?

   Take it easy. Just remember that everyone is attractive to someone but personality is that little kick. Without it even the most attractive person can alienate. Get out of your head… genuine interactions based on interest may be the way to go.

5. You are jumping to conclusions my friend and need to work on self compassion. Take a second to think about those aspects that you like about your self and are proud of. Take a deep breathe.

   You remind me a lot of myself actually. I was in your shoes a couple years ago (I’m 23 now). I was so focused on this idea of getting a girlfriend and having my first kiss, etc.. that it sort of got in the way of it all. I even missed out on possible relationships with woman due to my lack of self confidence and self compassion (something I still work on). I’m not entirely sure who you are or what you are like, but for me it was all about being a bit more social and getting out and trying new things. I’m an introvert at heart, so getting out and being more social was a challenge at first (I’m still working on my social side).

   I decided I wanted to take up surfing, and found a group of people who supported me in learning it and who also would go with me. One day I reached out to this girl (a fellow surfer) I had known over the course of school and wanted to see if she’d go with me since I didn’t really have anyone to go with at the time and don’t really enjoy going alone. Well we went and really hit it off and I decided to ask her out several days later. We dated over the course of the summer before I left for college and things ended.

   The point to all this is by getting out there and being social and enjoying the things you love with others you meet so many new people and develop relationships you otherwise wouldn’t have. I’m not saying you shouldn’t be looking for love through a virtual setting (ie tinder) either, just that additionally you should be pursuing social relationships.

   Also no one is good at sex or kissing their first time and people don’t really care about that anyways (at least that’s been my experience). Likewise, rejection is apart of dating and it happens to all of us (especially me haha). Hope that helps man.

6. You need self confidence, which is really hard to get. You have to work on it. That doesn’t mean there’s anything wrong with you, it actually means the opposite. You’re hating yourself for no reason and that’s your downfall. I’m still working on my own self confidence but even after feeling a little bit more confident I’ve noticed a huge difference.

   You’re also wrong about you being someone women aren’t attracted to. There are so many people out there with so many different preferences. You could take a guy that you think has it all, someone you wish you were, and there are women that won’t be attracted to him at all. Women that aren’t attracted to this guy but are attracted to you. It’s easy to think about it so black and white, but not every person is the same and there’s not only one way to be attractive.

   Not all women will be out off by you being a virgin. I didn’t lose mine until I was 20. I still would not care at all if I liked a guy and found out he was a virgin. It doesn’t matter if someone truly likes you for you, then all that shit that doesn’t matter won’t matter. If someone isn’t interested in you because you’re a virgin, they aren’t the right kind of person you should be looking for anyway.