I have an American acquaintance who sometimes brings up topics I just don’t care about. Now, I try to be quite tactful when navigating these faux pas situations, normally where I’m from, we say something like “Oh that’s crazy man” or look elsewhere for a split second to let them the topic doesn’t interest me, but this person just doesn’t get it.
Is this exclusive to this person, or do you have other ways of letting the person know when to stfu?
19 comments
>normally where I’m from, we say something like “Oh that’s crazy man”
It’s the same thing here. I think your friend is just a bit clueless.
If you’re from the Midwest, you either “yeah” and “uh-huh” them until they tire themselves out or abruptly change the topic with a random question.
If somebody doesn’t pick up on the cues that you’re not interested, just fucking tell them.
“Hey listen, I get that this is something you’re interested in, but honestly? I just do not care. Sorry bud. Let’s change the subject.”
Damn that’s crazy.
With an acquaintance I’ll do what you do but with a stranger I’ll just walk away mid conversation
I have a friend that can’t pick up these cues, he will be talking about something and no one in the room will be listening, so he is basically just talking to himself. I will say to him. “hey bud, no is listening to you”, or if it’s just a one on one conversation, I just straight up say, “I am not interested in talking about that”. I think being straight with someone is the best way to do this especially when they aren’t picking up on cues.
My preferred tactic is just to change the subject. If it’s someone at work or something going on about some political hot button issue I usually go with “I can see both sides of that issue, but it’s just not something that’s very important to me…” and then change the subject right there.
If it’s a more casual conversation, I’ll usually listen for a piece of what they’re saying that I can use to turn the direction of the conversation naturally. You really don’t have to get too caught up in being really clever about it, just ask a followup question about whatever the thing is that you personally find most interesting and then use that to segue further into a topic related to that thing instead. Unless I legitimately just don’t want to be talking to the person ***at all*** I usually don’t have much trouble active listening and naturally steering conversations away from topics I’m not interested in and towards things I am.
I think the standard Midwestern way of leaving a conversation or leaving any gathering is a leg slap followed with, “Welp, it’s about that time…” Then just say some random mundane thing you have to do.
If I get to my third “that’s crazy” and they’re still jabbering away I start throwing hands.
“Cool story bro”
Your friend is just bad at reading social cues
Sounds like he’s just a little clueless. He might be missing your social cues, but I doubt it’s because of a cultural difference.
I’d suggest nudging him onto a different topic.
My job is 100% on the phone. There are many times I need to chat or make small talk with the caller. If they start to lean too far into religion or politics I pretend I just heard a dog and ask what kind of dog.
Even if they don’t have a dog it allows for an abrupt change of conversation without being rude.
If it’s a friend, tell them. If it’s an acquaintance, you prob just have to deal with it.
I work with people who will go on crazy tangents. I just walk away from them. They’ll want to bring up inappropriate things in the workplace – politics, abortion, etc if they’re sitting near me I’ll turn on my phone music loud then stick my ear pods in to show I’m not listening. I don’t need to lose my job over their opinions.
Typically, I’ll use “huh'”, “uh-huh?” or “You don’t say”, over and over until they wind down or hit on some facet of what they’re on about that I find interesting.
I’ve heard some pretty blunt versions of that, but generally the worst I’ll do is change the subject.
If you figure that out let us know. Maybe just fart loudly?
If it’s really bad like something against my morals, I change the subject, or I say I’ve got to get going. If it’s just boring to me I will pretend to be interested.
Short answers such as “hmm ok..” or “cool”.
“Wow”
“Yeah”
“Uh huh”
“Wild”
“That’s crazy man”
“Crazy”
“Yep.”
Basically anything that can be repeated multiple times to confirm that yes, we are still alive and being subjected to listening to you talk rather than us saying literally anything else that shows genuine interest or curiosity.
You’re dealing someone who either can’t take a hint or just really loves the sound of their own voice.