I don’t understand why they’re worried about a quiet person when they aren’t bothering anyone and just minding their business? Just curious what’s the issue with someone keeping to themselves?

22 comments

  1. Because when an extrovert is quiet it means theyre sick or depressed and they can’t fathom other people being happy and also quiet???

  2. Because extraverts don’t want to be made aware of their own empty inner lives.

  5. They look for random worthless things to say to add value bc they rarely have substance filled things to add.

    Same with them in meetings. Ugh

  7. Ugh, I had so many people get angry at me for not talking, when I was clearly listening intently to them. Full eye contact and all.

    I think they’re not used to that, so they need verbal or physical feedback. Uh huh, uh huh, lots of head nodding.

    I think they assume if someone isn’t constantly giving reactions, it means they dislike them or don’t like what they’re saying, or are zoned out?

  8. Oh god I remember getting this question from classmates every. Single. Day.

    You would think people would learn eventually that I’m a quiet person.

    Then they get annoyed when I do anything more than breathe.

    Fortunately I’m past school. Never will go back.

  10. Some extroverts might feel they are leading the conversation and want input from the introvert. I think it can be them checking in with the introvert to make sure they are following good social cues of back and forth. While extroverts can be really skilled socially, they also don’t always want to dominate the conversation and are also Interested in others’ feelings and opinions.

    I can be both, an introvert and extrovert depending on the social situation. Sometimes extroverts have trouble sitting in silence and talk too much, but sometimes introverts don’t contribute enough to the social situation and aren’t fun to be around if they aren’t contributing. I think being too much on either side has its pros/cons.

  11. I think it means they are feeling insecure and want you to tell them what you think of them so they don’t have to guess.

  13. I think it’s their way of expressing that they feel rejected.

    Not all extroverts do this, only the selfish and insensitive ones do so. The respectful extroverts will try to chat others up, if the person turns out to want to be left alone, they respect that and leave them alone. The less respectful ones will expect everyone they chat up to ‘entertain’ them, and if someone doesn’t then they take it personally as a form of rejection of who they are.

    However extroverts being the ‘socially fluent’ social butterflies they are, won’t lash out directly about them feeling rejected, so the displeasure ends up coming out as something like ‘ugh, you’re so quiet’ instead of ‘heeey why won’t you talk to meeee?’

  14. because we are conditioned to believe that if you’re quiet you’re not enjoying yourself, also if we are trying to connect with you and you’re quiet we may think we have offended you. It’s not because we don’t think you can be happy quiet, it’s because the social ques we are used to indicate that you might be unhappy and we don’t know how else to check other than asking, this is just my experience tho

  15. Generally people that don’t talk, don’t talk for a reason I find. (Weather its lack of interest in the topic at hand, or you simply hate the guts of the other person.) You can get introverts to chat if you can catch them with something they have interest in. At least that’s been my experience being surrounded by introverts.
    Hence why extroverts probably are a bit unused to people who don’t have much to say, if they’re used to people who have plenty to say. They probably get a bit uncomfortable with someone who doesn’t have a need to share what they think.

  16. I’ve gotten this almost every single day at my job for the last year. You’d think they’d get bored of asking by now but it’s like they literally can’t comprehend

  17. I think that many extroverts might not even realize they’re an extrovert. Maybe they’ve never self reflected on the trait? Or maybe they associate being quiet as being upset, because that’s the only time they’re very quiet. On a personal and similar note, I think most people would consider me an extrovert. One time at work I said something like, “I don’t know how anyone would do this job for that wage. If I were them I’d just wait tables because it would be more money for less work” and then my coworker said, “not everyone is like you, you know. Not everyone has the personality that’s required for waiting tables”. And he was absolutely right and I’m glad he said it because now I can see past myself and feel for the introvert. I truly think (some, not all) extroverts need to be reminded what life is like for an introvert. If they get on your quietness again, I suggest saying what my coworker said to me.

  18. I think of it like a drunk person asking you why you aren’t drinking and insisting you do shots

  20. It’s the exact same as asking someone why they’re so loud, and people get really bothered by that but don’t see how asking why we’re quiet is annoying af

  21. I’m both and if I ask I usually want to talk to them / think they be fun to talk to

  22. I think the only reason is to got to know if you have a problem or not.Simple, cause many people dont talk when they are angry or have a problem to solve.

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