Honestly don’t know what to make of this. We’ve been dating for a couple of months. She made it official after confessing feelings for me. We’d known each other for half a year by that point.
I like her a lot and things are mostly great. She’s normally quietly affectionate and fun, but some days she does have very low energy.
She’s a quiet person in general. She told me recently that a friend of hers thought she was weird at first because of how she is. Sometimes she doesn’t know how to reply to things people say and just says “yeah” or “okay” and she feels awkward. This same mentally crept into our relationship too. When I started calling her petnames she didn’t say them back at first. Then one morning she called me and said she felt awkward because she wanted to say them too but the words wouldn’t come out.
This was about a month ago. For the last 3 weeks she called me baby, babe, love, handsome, you name it. It felt really nice and cute. But now for the past week she’s stopped saying these things again. I don’t necessarily have a problem with that by itself but she is affectionate in a more nuanced way, and those extra petnames reassure me.
It’s also weird because over text she’s still fine. She called me love and baby today and everything felt fine, but when we called she was very laboured and quiet. She mostly just chuckled at stuff I said, didn’t say too much herself. I know she’s had a rough week at work which might explain things, but it does make me worry that she’s already over our new relationship also. It’s part of the reason why I never confessed to her in the first place – because I truly didn’t feel like she was into me. Since we’ve been together we’ve had some super nice days but also days where I still have this “yeah she doesn’t dig me” feelings and I just feel flat. I don’t know if that’s just the consequence of dating a quiet girl, but it makes me feel like she’d be more out of her shell elsewhere.
Am I overthinking very minor things?
**TL;DR: girlfriend has stopped calling me petnames the last few days randomly. Not sure if it is natural or if I should worry there’s a deeper meaning**
3 comments
Yep.
You give a BIG list of things that are playing a part in her mood changes and her core personality (which sounds like she’s an Introvert), and then you turn around and make them about you. This probably isn’t about you at all.
When you’re dating an Introvert, you need to make efforts to understand them and the emotional energy required to get us through the day. “Quiet” by Susan Cain is a good resource.
I didn’t feel that advice given by others were very insightful. It appeared to me that you require more attention from her than she is able to naturally give. Attention of a certain kind. So it will always be an uphill battle for her to meet those needs. That was my reading of the situation. Others lean more towards your GF needs, but I wanted to balance it out with what your needs are and if you are happy with what you are receiving. Everything isn’t about you but with the same token everything isn’t about her either. Hope you are able to find a good balance. Wish you the best of luck.
you posted this yesterday, yeah?