So this is kinda the opposite of what this sub is for, but a valid question nonetheless.

3 comments

1. This would likely garner more advice in the r/autism sub.

   Your brother is likely trying so hard to connect with you. Fishing, archery, eating out…. all of those can be exhausting from a sensory and socialisation perspective let alone the change in routine and unknown.

   If he doesn’t comprehend sarcasm, don’t talk to him sarcastically.

   He has friends – you’ve already identified people at school and he may have online friends as well. Just because he doesn’t have as many as you might, or they interact differently than how you do with your friends doesn’t mean he is not happy.

   What does ‘fend for himself mean?’ Do you want him to be able to live independently and work a fulltime job? Because there are a bunch of people, autistic or not, who can’t do that. Helping him find a job when heKs ready for it, like after school, will help him continue socialising, provide purpose and get him out of the house. It’s also a great routine. This could be a conventional or supported role.

2. Your brothers lucky to have a sister like you. I a 21 year old male autistic lived and still lives the kinda life your brother does, the only difference is my sister never really helped me and I never went to school and your fears are very valid atleast in my experience. I don’t have any friends and my sister is very enstranged from me and as an adult it’s hell. I have to figure all this stuff out on my own that I would’ve learned gradually when I was younger it’s almost traumatic this 6 second YouTube clip describes what I call hell perfectly https://youtube.com/clip/UgkxFagbB3jPOl0Bb9g0oS0hjGBHAvX1Z24C

   Your doing the right thing by getting him out into different things expose him to as many as people as possible and believe me he will find his tribe of friends. people will be mean to him but their are very kind people too. my parents isolated me now they realize that was one of their biggest parental failures. don’t let him suffer what I suffer instead your doing a good job helping him be the shoulder that he grabs might even cry on when people bully and nudge him forward so he can find his friends don’t let him experience the same pain I do

   Edit:now I’m not sure how his autism affects him it affects everyone differently and it will always affect him you can’t cure him of the affects his autism has on him but you can help him learn to cope with it and adapt methods to work around them so communication is key listen to him when he having sensory issues figure out what’s bothering with him and figure out how he can cope like if he has to go somewhere loud if that’s a sensory issue give him something that might help muffle those sounds teach him to communicate with people around him so they know to accommodate him if his issue is high energy give him something to focus that energy experiment with different things like squishy toys or if he’s like me and it’s all eye contact social skills teach him to mask we have a hard time naturally doing it so when we have to be social we often learn to put actual energy into these things that and teach him to identify when he should let others know but please make sure that you listen to him if you choose to do it he will get tired of it he can’t just be naurotypical because he isn’t so please do not mistake the masking thing as a permanent solution that’s what make aba therapy torture let him be who he is but teach him to cope and adapt and fake for the occasions that we’re he will have to like job interviews also do not mistake behaviors incited by bullying or abuse I’ve seen it to often where people will blame autism for the behavior the incite in autistic individuals from bullying, harassment, abuse or even torture I’ve experienced it personally

3. now I’m not sure how his autism affects him it affects everyone differently and it will always affect him you can’t cure him of the affects his autism has on him but you can help him learn to cope with it and adapt methods to work around them so communication is key listen to him when he having sensory issues figure out what’s bothering with him and figure out how he can cope like if he has to go somewhere loud if that’s a sensory issue give him something that might help muffle those sounds teach him to communicate with people around him so they know to accommodate him if his issue is high energy give him something to focus that energy experiment with different things like squishy toys or if he’s like me and it’s all eye contact social skills teach him to mask might be a good idea we have a hard time naturally doing it so when we have to be social we often learn to put actual energy into these things that and teach him to identify when he should let others know but please make sure that you listen to him if you choose to do it he will get tired of it he can’t just be naurotypical because he isn’t so please do not mistake the masking thing as a permanent solution that’s what make aba therapy torture let him be who he is when it’s ok for him to do so but teach him to cope and adapt and fake for the occasions that he can’t be like job interviews also do not mistake behaviors incited by bullying or abuse as autistic traits or meltdowns I’ve seen it to often where people will blame autism for the behavior they incite in autistic individuals from bullying, harassment, abuse or even torture I’ve experienced it personally so if he’s having unsavory behaviors please examine more of his surroundings before blaming him and his ability to cope with his autism if he can learn to cope so long as he has people to meet one day his friends will come naturally so meanwhile just support him expose him to new things keep him around people so he has more tribes to befriend as long as he learns to cope and learns to adult friends will naturally come his way