I’m worried that women would be turned off and not want to be with me because I’m a 23 year old virgin.

38 comments

  1. Sex is an activity just like any other, it’s learned and most of it is through communication, if some girl is put off by that she simply just doesn’t bother and help you out, meaning she doesn’t really like you that much to begin with

  2. Speaking as someone who starred dating at 23, they can’t tell.

    Whatever thing that kept you from having sex this long is probably a specific thing that needs changing if you want to have sex. The fact that you have not had sex is invisible, irrelevant, and meaningless.

    Don’t lead with the fact that you’re a virgin because that matches a pattern of nitwits who build their whole personalities around it. Acknowledge the fact if they ask.

  3. My ex was a 24 year old virgin. I was a virgin as well, so I wasn’t put off. It was really special being each other’s first and learning together <3

  4. My boyfriend of 7 months and me are both 27yo and he’s been a virgin when we started dating.

    We talked openly about it, got to know each other, established a deep personal connection and even though I had reeeeaally good Sex before, now with him is the best I ever had.

    Please don’t try to hide it from your dates – we notice. Have had guys try to lie to me about it and it’s a Big turnoff. I liked my boyfriend’s openness about the issue and that he wasn’t desperate to just lose his virginity, but instead wanted to get to know me as a person, build a relationship, etc..

    Sex is a big part of our relationship, but it’s by far not the only thing and wouldn’t work, if we weren’t connected personally.

    It’s important you feel comfortable with your partner and are able to talk openly about your fears and wishes. Communication is key here.

    PS: English isn’t my first language, hope I made myself clear anyways

  5. No one cares unless you’re a creep. If you’re a “nice guy”, “no one wants to fuck me, all women are TRASH”, etc etc etc.

    If you’re just a normal dude who hasn’t had sex, it’ll literally just be awkward. And a little quick, maybe.

    But dude, no one cares. 90% chance you’re better than some experienced guys they’ve slept with. The bar is LOW my guy, just don’t be an asshole, make her cum, and that is IT. As long as you’re not a huge prick, the sex is at least a 6/10.

    The bar is LOW for single men / hookups. Be upfront. Talk it over. Have fun with it.

  6. People make it seem like it’s weird.. But it’s actually special, man! Don’t just let the person you’re attracted to know until.. after a successful and honest connection, which then lead to sex. Say it in a bold, soothing and comfortable way to make the person feel special having it with you.

  7. You’re still within the range where it’s not a positive but not wholly unexpected, but that is not going to last.

  8. Some women will be turned off but I think you’re not at the point where most will. I’d say 25-27+ is where women start to question it and factor it into their criteria as to whether they’ll take you seriously or not.

  9. Don’t worry. I’m a 26 years old virgin. I don’t care. And it’s a beautiful thing to learn together as you do it for the first time.

  10. They won’t know if you don’t tell them. There’s no rule that you have to share that information.

  12. Okay listen. Last year I met a guy (22M) from Tinder and he was really nice and normal. He was upfront when we met that he was nervous, which is totally okay and normal. After he made a move to kiss me and things got heated, he said “listen, I need to tell you that I’m a virgin. I understand if that turns you off”. After he said that, I just made sure he was comfortable and was sure he wanted to go through with it, and every step of the way we talked about what was happening. He ended up not being able to get hard because of the nerves, which was totally 100% okay. We tried again in the morning and it went better. Then we met again and after a couple of times he became the best sexual partner I’ve ever had. How? Because he was honest and asked about what to do, and what felt good etc. We had such good communication because he didn’t assume anything which, in my experience, most other guys do even though asking is always so much better. My point is, you don’t need to be too upfront with it, but if things are getting heated then just be honest. If a woman in that moment turns you down because of that, you would not want to sleep with her anyway because she is not a good person.

  13. “I’m worried that women would be turned off that im a 23 year old virgin”

    First of all, most women are simply going to *assume* you have some sexual experience.

    I’ve never had woman ask me if I were a virgin or how many lovers I have had.

    My guess is you’re overthinking this stuff and it’s probably keeping you from entering into the dating pool. Truth be told there is ALWAYS going to be a “reason” why you get rejected.

    When it is all said and done, it doesn’t matter what *the reason is* because you still have to move on.

    If you want to learn how to swim eventually you have to get in the water!

    You may want to try a *niche* dating site. Google *online dating apps for virgins*. These sites exist!

    Not everyone you meet becomes a date, not every date becomes a relationship, and not every relationship leads to marriage. In a world with over 7 Billion people rejection just means: Next!

    ***”The tragedy of life is not that it ends so soon, but that we wait so long to begin it.”*** – W.M. Lewis

    **“Never allow waiting to become a habit. Live your dreams and take risks. Life is happening now.”** ― Paulo Coelho

    ***”Dating is primarily a numbers game…. People usually go through a lot of people to find good relationships. That’s just the way it is.”*** – Henry Cloud

    Best wishes!

  15. I can’t speak for all women, but I am 22 and if I were single and met a virgin around my age I’d find that a big turn on

  16. Don’t tell her. Just don’t raise her expectations of a mind blowing experience. Just go with the flow. And don’t be nervous. Being nervous gives you limp dick.

  17. 2 months ago I was a 27 year old Virgin. I worried too. I met a woman who didn’t care and you can too. Any woman who makes a big deal about it isn’t for you, trust me.

  18. This is absolutely nothing to be ashamed of – if you’re with someone who judges you for that, that is a major red flag imo. Anyone worth your time will not be bothered by this.

  19. Anyone that is “turned off” by this is not your person and does not deserve to be (sexually intimate) with you

  20. Don’t lie, don’t tell her. Your definition as a male is not based around wether you’ve had sex yet. Be friendly, be flirty, entertain her and expect the same of her.

  21. Can be some will have a problem. Most will not. Minority can even find it super special. I was 42 years a virgin. And that is my experience(s).

  22. Hit the gym bruh chicks will wanna fuck you when ur solid. like a year is a good time frame for getting in good shape. Plus helps with being confident with your body. Also you’d be healthy and strong

  25. 30 year old virgin here. Let me be your wingman, you’ll downright look like Adonis by comparison.

  27. 27 y/o virgin here waiting for the ‘right one’ aka ‘marriage’ aka ‘wifey sauce’. Don’t be discouraged dude. Find that special someone and don’t waste the ultimate form of intimacy on something that is vanity. Cause I’m saving it for the ‘ultimate’ relationship.

  28. They probably will be, you need to keep it to yourself unless it feels right to tell them

  29. Well, why are you a virgin. That matters more than the fact that you’re a virgin. Do you have high standards with emphasis on a long term relationship? Many women would find that admirable. Or are you a coward, who lives in fear and has classified women as being “all the same” . Obviously there are more options but, you get the idea.

  30. the only concern that women have about virgins (based on conversations i’ve had) is the lack of experience. a lot of women, especially at your age-range, don’t like the idea of being some sort of “teacher” or mentor when it comes to sex.

    luckily, as with any aspects in life, a lack of experience can be filled up by knowledge. so study, and do a lot of research on sex, and be confident.

  31. My husband hadn’t even kissed a girl when we got together and he was older than you. It was no big deal for me. He’s by far the best man I’ve ever dated, which is why I married him. Admittedly, I hadn’t dated very much before either, but his lack of experience didn’t change anything.

  32. Not a turn off. I’ve been with a 28 year old virgin and learned as we were getting the condom out. I was more shocked and worried he wouldn’t have a good first time, but not turned off. I would mention it before it’s clear you’re about to have sex, just from my experience. I got really nervous to please him and have a memorable first time 😂

  34. No i would rather be with a virgin 😂 I always prefer sex after marriage so I believe there will be someone out there for you

  35. go with the flow, women won’t give a fuck if you’re a virgin as long as you’re confident yet humble. a lil shyness/embarrassment around it can actually be slightly cute if it comes up, but i highly doubt anyone would ask anyways

  37. Are you kidding?! That is a plus! Girls find that so incredibly attractive! What?!! Perhaps the BIGGEST turn on for girls. Omgg!! stay a virgin please I’m not kidding that’s rare and beautiful! Don’t feel like you have to change because it is so hot. My friends and I would melt if a guy we liked was a virgin. Dream man, top tier can’t get any better! 🥰

  38. Hey dude. Friend of mine loss his V card at 26. Also better than having an STD right ?

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