Those of you who got hit by your parents consistently how would you describe your relationship with them now?

26 comments

1. I haven’t spoken to my mother in 20 year’s.

2. Between ages 1-10 I got struck on the ass quote a bit. Most of my bruises were me rough housing with my stepdad, nothing tragic.

   My mom busted her hand one day trying to swat me through a chair with a hole.in the back and never did it again. She wasn’t s fan of it either growing up but she still did it when she felt it was her only recourse.

   I don’t harbor any resentment. My resentment is mostly geared towards having to struggle to put myself through school and shit.

3. When my mother died, I didn’t go to her funeral. I don’t speak to my father. Despite their abuse I’m better than I expected I’d turn out some years ago.

4. My folks and I get along well, though I don’t see them as much as I mean to. Time gets away.

   That said I got spankings that were this whole structured rigamarole, they didn’t just haul off and hit me if they got mad. Very different vibe.

5. my dad called me the other day, and asked why i had anger issues with him. there’s your story.

6. I got spanked as a kid. Love my folks, good relationship. Just mailed my dad a birthday present.

7. I was hit and disciplined by them when I deserved it. I’m glad they did. I learned a lot of lessons and have a very respectful and loving relationship with them.

8. I wasn’t regularly smacked, it only happened a few times. That said, the emotional abuse was bad enough that I have at best a surface level relationship with them.

9. I was never abused. I was disciplined when needed. I have a great relationship with my parents. Love them to death.

10. Great. There’s a difference between a swat and abuse.

11. My Mother asked for my forgiveness a while ago when my Gramma, her Mom, came to live with us. She’s still alive and seeing how verbally and almost physically abusive my Gramma is with my Mom, made it make sense to me as to why my Mom was so bad with me…

    I forgave my Mom for myself, to have peace in my mind but the truth is seeing my Gramma and her fight and fuss so much, makes me sick. And because I’m their care taker, I feel awful from hearing it…

12. People pat me on the back and I jump or twitch. Someone raises a hand to high-five and I do some sort of recoil that fucks them up visibly.

13. It definitely left wounds in my mind that to this day I’m trying to heal. I have constant anxiety to please everyone around me, and whenever someone is kind to me I latch on to them like my life depends on it (internally, outwardly I’m not a stalker or anything, just a craving for them to love me).

    That being said, our relationship is… OK. I’ve learned to look at them without judgments. They are limited human beings by their stories and upbringing, and in their own twisted way, that is how the showed love. I don’t intend to stick around with them, but the anger, resentment and pain I used to feel around them is gone. I truly love them, they’re just not the kind of people I want in my everyday life.

    There are no perfect parents. All parents leave wounds on their children. Always, big, small, useful, destructive, they leave them. We’re not perfect. There is no going around that. But as individuals, healing those wounds is what teaches us how to build the lives we want to live, grow and mature.

14. Dogshit. Desperately hoping to move out soon as possible and be able to support myself. And hopefully save my brother.

15. “Dad” stopped hitting me when I got big enough to hit back and hurt him. Then he switched to psychological abuse. That did more long term harm. Mom was my refuge. I was with her when she passed after a stroke. When the memory care center called to tell me his time was near, I went there, looked at his purple mottled extremities, said yup, he’s gonna die soon, and left. I cried most of the night when mom passed. I’ll never shed a tear for him. The world is a better place without him.

16. I was paddled a few times when I was a kid. Both by parents and by my school. I’m not sure it really helped since the reason why I was acting out was still happening. So I would push it right to the edge of getting in trouble instead.

    Relationship with parents is very distant. But that’s more because of their political beliefs. I love em but I wouldn’t want them babysitting my kids, I’ve seen my mom spank my niece a few times for things I didn’t think called for it. That’s the issue sometimes is it becomes a crutch for disciplining kids.

17. My dad used to beat me so severely I couldn’t leave the house for a week. Years of therapy, and a heartfelt apology where he told me he truly regretted it and please dont do it to my kids, and I’ve forgiven him, but it still hurts sometimes

18. It doesn’t exist

19. My parents thought violence was the answer to everything when it came to their kids.

    We don’t speak any more.

20. Haven’t talked to my father in 20 years (I’m 42 now). I have 2 kids of my own and have never once hit them.

21. Well my dads in prison has been for 16 years so not great.

    My mom doesn’t understand why I don’t come around much or talk or text thay often. I love her to death and don’t have it in me to tell her 22 years of verbally and physically beating me tends to make me wanna be distant.

22. Haven’t spoken or seen my mum since I was like 13.

23. My dad would smack me across the face when I said anything perceived as rude or mean and would hit me with his belt on my butt growing up if I acted out in school. I tried to explain to him just this last Christmas that these things did way more harm to me than good (and listed several examples of toxic traits/bad habits I developed growing up as a result) to try to get him to see the error in his ways, but he instead doubled down and said that he is glad he did those things to me since I turned out as a competent adult with a great job and a reasonably stable life. When I kept pushing back, he changed his tune to calling me ungrateful and oversensitive and made a semi-joke about how he should have hit me even more. When he said that, I immediately packed all my things, called an Uber to the airport, moved my flight up 3 days, and got the fuck out of there. I haven’t talked to him since (so only 3 months). When I asked my Mom if Dad had any reaction to me ignoring him, she responded that apparently HE is ignoring ME until I apologize, which is fucking weird to me since it would be like I am saying it is okay that he smacked me across the face 50+ times as a kid.

24. I haven’t talked to them in 20+years.

25. He’s dead and turned to ash and I don’t care anymore. All but the nightmares are behind me.

26. Shallow at best