Hi there,
I am getting more and more disheartenend with my inability to orgasm. I am 25F and I have had almost 30 partners, male and female.
I have done everything I can think of, setting the scene, toys, getting my partner to focus on me, making sure I am relaxed, and I have tried A LOT by myself.
I feel like I get close and like I almost have a faux-orgasm, but no huge release or fireworks or anything like that. Everyone says if you have an orgasm, you’ll know. And I don’t so I guess I haven’t.
I am just looking for advice on how to cope with this, or any tips that might make things easier for me?
Alos, how do I negotiate people thinking they can ‘fix me’? A lot of people gt hung up on it, and I know it comes from a place of care, but it makes me incredibly insecure. All in all, I do really enjoy sex, even if I don’t finish – but I can’t help feeling like I am missing out.
5 comments
Are you on meds? SSRIs will cause anorgasmia. They’re doing it to me. I can go forever and be right on the edge, but just can’t complete the act.
It’s frustrating as hell.
See your doctor.
Fuck, SAME. I don’t even have any advice, but I 24f can’t orgasm with other people. I managed to do it by myself though, with a satisfier. But yeah, it really sucks to not be able to share it with someone else.
And I have the exact same thing of a “faux-orgasm” with arousal and tension building up, but no real climax. It still feels nice, and I like having sex, but you still wonder if you’re massively missing out.
I can’t orgasm, and it doesn’t mean you’re broken!
I “cope” with it because I’m perfectly satisfied with my sex life and love sex. I’m don’t need to orgasm to enjoy sex. There’s so much more to it than that.
As for the people who think they can “fix you,” I’ve just always been forthcoming that I can’t orgasm. I tell them that I can’t by myself and I can’t with a partner but that I still enjoy sex and experience pleasure. Most of my partners have been content with that answer.
They all would love to make me orgasm, but they understand that they can’t. If a partner continuously puts too much pressure on me, then sex isn’t enjoyable, and I stop sleeping with that person.
You’ve read books and articles? There is a lot out there. You are focused on your clit vs inside? I imagine you know that. You are in a comfortable place where you feel you can let go?
I’d suggest you seek out a large GYN practice, perhaps at your nearest university medical center. Medicine is so focused these days there are docs who not only focus on female issues but on just sexual distinction. I think if you look you will find the right person who can help!
I can relate to this!! I feel like I’m almost there like its so close and then nothing it just slowly dies down. But I also have trauma from my past and am on SSRI’s which both can effect that. I hope you can find the answer!