I [30F] have been in a LDR with a 40M. We’re both single parents for context. Over the last couple of days he’s decided to go out partying until 3am and get completely wasted. He’s also been super inconsistent with texting back or calling when he was out. Long story short I broke with him – I felt like he was inconsiderate and our lifestyles are just incompatible. But part of me thinks maybe I’m self-sabotaging again. Thoughts?
15 comments
If you realistically ever wanted to blend houses this would be a problem id it’s a common occurrence. If it was just like his birthday weekend or something you may have jumped the gun.
Does he do that all the time? Or did u just break up with someone for partying for a few days? If it’s the first u did the right thing. If it’s the second ur an asshole.
It’s ok to break up with someone for whatever reason you choose
I would say this is a very good reason to break up. Lifestyle and values are more important than anything else.
You sabotage yourself by enabling his behavior
40M still partying like that? Would be a dealbreaker for me. You’ve done nothing wrong with ending things.
Naw man. That shit gets old. People that dude that never seem to change either.
You two are just incompatible.
That behavior is for children. You did the right thing IMO. If it’s on vacation, or holiday or birthday and you both are together then that’s obviously different. Random solo drinking excursions? Normal for teens to early 20s, not adults.
It is reasonable to breakup with someone for whatever reason you chose!
Nope, not unreasonable at all.
I think you did the right thing. You’re probably just a side chick to him and you want more than that.
You can break up with someone for whatever reason. Good on you though for recognising that your lifestyles will not be compatible and not forcing it to work. Been in the same situation
Yes, that sounds like you’re incompatible. I wouldn’t date a guy who did that either.
Well I’m not sure why you would be in contact with him while he was out with friends. I mean, other than telling someone to have a good time, I wouldn’t be bothering them. They are busy.
I don’t drink but if I was at a get together with friends or family or some event I would also ignore all calls and texts. So the red flag to me is repeated attempts to contact me when I’m with other people.
Obviously I feel not wanting to date a heavy drinker who goes out every weekend is totally understandable. But if a guy goes out once a month with his guy friends for drinks I wouldn’t be upset.
As someone else said, it’s your relationship. You can set any limits you want in the end. It’s very hard to know if you’re self sabotaging.