My partner (that’s what we refer each other) talks to his exes regularly. He brings up stories from their time together and I’m okay with that from beginning of our relationship because they are good stories from his life and those exes made him a better person.
But he shares everything going on in his life with them (I have mentioned that I’m not comfortable with that) – one of them (say A) was his ~4 year long relationship which ended 1.5 years back(she is in a different country), other (say B) is his 4 month old relationship which ended 1 year back(same city) and the third (say C) is a women he went on few dates with and they agreed to remain friends(~10 month back, same city).
All the three other women are dating some guys, but unhappy. He reads out the conversations with those exes once in a while (with A & B, he is bit weird about C and I have never seen their conversation).
His eyes light up and gets all excited when he gets a reply from last two exes (B and C) and he constantly checks his phone to see if they have replied. He spends around an hour almost every 2 days to get back to them.
I’m a very open person and have guy friends (from school and university days). My partner knows that I’m not okay with anything non-monogamous and he said he wouldn’t do anything to jeopardize losing me. He always affirms that he wants to spend his life with me and I’m his love of his life.
About him – loves to spend time with me, says all the right things (he says he learned over the time), takes care of chores, doesn’t have many friends (used to be nerd). He is smart in general. He watches porn once in a while, but comments that how it is not close to real life. He says he finds some women attractive and haven’t jerked off to another women since we have been together.
We had a great start to our relationship 8 months back and we used to openly talk about everything. We still have good conversations, but this whole thing is bothering me and I don’t want to bring it up if there is no problem in the first place.
TL;DR Any help is highly appreciated in how to deal with this situation.
3 comments
Man what’s up with people putting up with these blatant red flags on this sub lately?
I’m not one to recommend breaking up with someone, but at the very least I’d be having a talk. My wife is friends with one of her exes from years ago – I’ve met him, and we’ve both hung out with him. I’m not sure I’d be comfortable with your situation.
This isn’t just being friendly, it’s keeping them on standby.
I think you should cut the guy some slack. So he’s friends with he’s exs? It sounds like he is open about it and otherwise a good partner. Some people are more comfortable remaining friends with their exs than others. Honestly it sounds like you may be a little bit controlling. The porn thing is kind of strange too.