Backstory: we started dating 6 months ago and yesterday she told me that she flirted on accident with a guy she used to like before.
I (17 M) found out I got cheated on by my girlfriend (17F) we talked about it and I gave her a second chance, but I still keep thinking about what she did and it’s hurting me mentally. If I break up with her she will hurt herself so I don’t know what to do or how to fix what I got myself into. I need some help to decide what I should do
TL;DR: girlfriend cheated I gave her a second chance but I keep thinking about it. If I break up with her she will hurt herself. Need help deciding what to do.
10 comments
Do not stay with someone because they’re threatening to hurt themselves. Tell someone, thats not on you. And noone cheats by accident
When you say that she cheated, do you mean that she flirted with someone or that she slept with them?
Anyone who threatens to hurt themself is holding you hostage. Can you tell the school counselor or anyone similar about this?
If she’s threatening to hurt herself and you think she means it, she needs help. If you think she’s just being a teen drama queen, she needs to mature up a bit.
But, she didn’t cheat my dude.
I hate it when I accidently chat to a girl for 4 hours, tell her she’s hot, buy her a drink and invite her back to my house. It’s so unexpected and can happen at any time.
See how silly that sounds?
She chose to do something which is likely to end a relationship. she can live with the consequence of that.
record the conversation when you split up with her. if she threatens to hurt herself she may also make up that you hurt her too. Also call her bluff and tell her parents about her threat. If it’s real then her parents can support her, if its a bluff the power gets removed from the threat.
She cheated by flirting?
What do you mean by flirted? Laughed at a joke? Borderline touches? Exchanged sexy comments?
if a girl your age owns and apologizes to having been flirty with someone else, she is a gem. because every high school boy and girl winds up being a little flirty bc you’re too immature to truly be serious with someone. I know in hs that flirting is considered cheating, but HOW aggressively did she flirt? do you think the other guy picked up on it even? if she said sum like “i wish i could be with you over my boyfriend” thats a betrayal and you need to break up. but if its something small like she smiled at him and put her hand on his arm accidentally when he said something funny, It doesnt mean anything and is very common in high school. I am so sorry that this hurt you so bad. its ok to take some time at home to yourself to get over it, but if altogether you think shes worth being your girlfriend, pray in your heart to forgive her because in 5 yrs when u look back you are 100% going to laugh at yourself for taking it so seriously.
Its important that you care enough about this girl that her flirting with someone else bothers you. that means you rly care about your relationship with her. but it shows a huge deal that she takes you seriously enough to not want to go around and flirt w other people, which i bet you her parents tell her is morally ok bc no adult thinks you should take high school seriously. I dont know if youve shared all the details about this, but trust your gut dude. If you break up w her bc you cant get over it, just do it nicely.
She cheated by ‘flirting’? Or cheated and flirted?
Either way, someone who threatens to harm themselves if you leave or make them upset is blackmailing, manipulating, and emotionally abusing you.
Even IF you truly were the ONLY thing keeping her from self harm, it’s still bullshit and not your responsibility.
1. Light Flirting in itself isn’t cheating, not necessarily, depends on a few factors. But that’s my opinion snd YMMV.
2. Threatening self-harm to keep to in a relationship is manipulative and you shouldn’t stay just for this reason.
Edit: saw your replies; she sexted with this guy, not flirted. Definitely cheated. **Leave.** If she threatens to self-harm, call her family and an ambulance.