My bf of 2 years has had a problem with chronic bad breath for a year now and he has great hygiene but it’s a medical problem and he’s currently getting it checked out. Last night, he got really angry that I wouldn’t kiss him because he smelt really bad and I said I was sorry but it was just too bad that I couldn’t do it. He then proceeded to tell me that I smell disgusting and rancid in my mouth, armpits, and vagina. I’m hygienic and pretty aware of my smell so I know that that’s a full on lie. That really hurt me though as a woman because I’m sensitive about stuff like that. I ask him later if he was just trying to make me feel bad and knock me down because he felt insecure about his breath and he said yes he was trying to do that. I’m not sure how to take this. Is this a red flag? Im not sure how to respond to this situation and his reaction.
TL;DR: bf felt insecure about his bad breath so he preceded to take it out of me and insult me
4 comments
Huge red flag there. He can’t handle your personal relationship autonomy, rejection, or his self esteem. Run.
Wow that’s fucked up. Not just a red flag it’s the whole parade. Leave his smelly mouth.
Huge red flag.
He’s allowed to be hurt and disappointed.
He’s not entitled to deliberately lie and try to wound you in response.
Have a follow-up conversation: This is not an acceptable way to deal with his negative feelings. You are not an emotional punching bag he can take a swing at whenever he’s pissed. He gets to be pissed. Not cruel.
He is responsible for behaving better than this. If he cannot, or says he will not, this is a thing to leave him over.
This is textbook early abuse OP.
no he doesnt get to hurt you because you denied him access to your body. Ever.
The fact that he did that is a huge warning that things are going to get worse, not better.
Run.