A friend of mine once told me that he thought he was in love with me. We couldn’t make it work because we were both moving away to different schools across country.
A few years have passed and we are back living in the same place, and both single. I know the only way to actually know for definite is to ask him directly, but I wondered what reddit thought. Do those intense feelings always remain? Or are they likely to have faded with time?
38 comments
yes and yes
There’s absolutely no rule for this. You’ll have to ask him
Nope. I’ve been head over heels with people I had absolutely no feelings for (except friendly ones) a few years later. But we’re all different, you just have to ask.
i personally do think so. they’re not gonna go away. i’m just trying to make a new life without the person that i love. that’s the only way for me to put him aside
Love lingers, but the person can change. Who he loved in the past may not be who you are today.
I’m in my upper 30’s and still love the friend I was close to as a teenager. We said our goodbyes 20 years ago as our lives diverged, and I very much doubt she is the same person nowadays as I remember, but those feelings I had back then haven’t vanished.
That being said, I never developed those feelings for anyone else since then. If I had, I think those feelings would have faded quite a lot.
In my experience, no and if they do it’s not the same.
I have loved men in the past that I would not give a second thought to today. each situation is different.
It just depends on the relationship and how and why the relationship ended. My ex-wife? There has been no love for her for years. My ex-girlfriend of 3.5 years? I’ll forever have some level of love for her.
Every women to whom I said I love you, I still love them to this day. This doesn’t mean that i’d date all of them again, but they will always have a piece of my heart.
I would say that chances are your friend feels the same. The only difference between the coward man and the courageous man is that only one knows what it means to be afraid but nevertheless do what needs to be done. I implore you to ask him how he feels. If he’s anything like me, he will have been waiting for what seems like an eternity just to hear your voice again.
There is a part of you that will always love them for who they were, and not for who they’ve become.
No.
No. I *definitely * don’t feel any love nor even like my ex boyfriend from a few years ago.
I dont still love my ex husband I divorced 7 years ago.
And I’m hoping I will stop loving my current ex boyfriend from one month ago 🙃🙃🙃🙃
Ooof, for me they do. However, the guy I used to like seemed to have forgotten about it pretty quickly tbh. For this same reason, I just think that the person he is now is not the person I was in love with. So technically I have no feelings for current him, I have feelings for the memories
Love is hard to let go. It will always remain but the intense feelings may fade. That’s how I feel about my ex. We both had a lot of love for each other but unfortunately weren’t able to make our relationship work. The only way for me was to build a life without him and change aspects of myself that broke the relationship. His thoughts still come to me and I still miss him but I’ve realized I can’t just get rid of it. I’m happy where I am but he was an important part of my life, so no, I don’t think love like that truly ever goes away.
I like to think so. I also like to think that true love is rare, like you can date someone and make yourself fall in love and get married and live happily ever after…but true love is so much more than that and very rare with a romantic partner…so with that said…true love doesn’t go away but surface love, like telling the guy I was dating for 6 months “I love you” just bc I really liked him, can go away.,
I love all of my past girlfriends, except for one, but that’s a story for another day. 15 years later and I still have occasional nightmares where she wants to get back together with me.
I think if you guys parted on good terms those feelings would not be to difficult to re-kindle.
Life’s too short to live in fear of what another person may or may not say, tell them how you feel.
Not in the same way, but I have a place for her in my heart, as in she has been an important part of my life. Things simply weren’t meant to be 🙂
It’s very confusing to me, because i dated too young and seeing the hold picture now, i don’t think i loved them. I have a boyfriend now that i’m older and is very different the feeling
You will always love them, but it’s complicated. The love can change, you can love them in a more platonic way. It can also be a situation where you love the person you once knew but not the person they are now. There are also situations where you love someone, but it’s not enough to stay.
I suppose I’m trying to say in my opinion yes, but it keep in mind how you got to where you are.
Only way to know is ask.
Depends on the kind of love and if the potential for love is still present, in my experience.
If the relationship gets cut short and there’s still leftover feelings, like in your situation, I think it’s possible love is still there or could manifest again in the right circumstances.
If a relationship runs its course though I don’t think love is possible. That doesn’t apply here though, it seems.
I’d recommend just spending time together though; it sounds like the love you two had, or that he had, came from being close and spending time together so that would be the best way to feel it out and maybe reignite it.
It depends if they change. If someone you previously loved changes and is no longer the person you loved, there’s a good possibility you won’t love their new persona.
I would go back to people I loved in the past as long as there is a connection happening right now! So shoot your shots 👌
No rule, no love is the same. And then some love isnt even love. You gotta ask everyone indibidually, and in this case: them.
I dated my ex gf for 5 years. She never really wronged me in any damaging way and was my everything for a very long time. We just weren’t compatible in a lot of ways which was heartbreaking to admit to ourselves. I think part of me will always love her
everyone we meet is for a reason sometimes we hold on to certain parts of that person that touched our hearts and there’s no shame in that.
I think a piece of me will always love in some aspect but I’m not in love with that person anymore.
There is literally no way to guess, you have to ask him.
I went through this once. He was my best friend, we met at 12, 13. When I was 15 I started dating a common friend. It ended up HORRIBLY. Like so horribly I left the school and changed into a new one. On my last day my best friend told me he had always been in love with me, but I was moving away, so no chance. He started dating my closest female friend. We lost contact for around two or three years, I went through another toxic relationship and said best friend just suddenly appeared as a suggestion on social media. He was still with that girl, who went insanely furious when him & i started talking again bc she had found out he had liked me. She cheated on him and they broke up. We’re close to our thirties now, we’re still best friends, and we’ve been through a couple relationships each. We usually say we were intended to be brother and sister because neither her mom nor mine would’ve survived us together. In this case, feelings dissolved into the most amazing friendship ever, buut I know a couple cases where they have had romantic feelings for 10 years or more. There is no algorithm.
Where there was fire, ashes remain. If you really want to see if you two can rekindle things, you should ask. You might regret not trying years later.
Usually, in my experience, yes. Everyone who I’ve been deeply attracted to, the ATTACHMENT leaves, the ATTRACTION doesn’t.
Every situation is different and depends on the person.
Real love never goes away. Granted, that passionate whirlwind that once was there might have settled into acceptance of you two not being together. I think love and infatuation/lust all get mixed together, real love is genuine, unconditional, and wanting the best for the other no matter what. It’s a real pain and a blessing lol.
Well no! I loved my ex and now to be honest I really couldn’t give a damn anymore!. Like if he lives forever or dies tomorrow wouldn’t create any emotions. He’s a complete stranger now
Do you want your friend to still have feelings for you? If you want to rekindle something just ask him on a date. He doesn’t have to still be in love with you to want to see where things go again
Well I was head over heels for my ex. I mean like smiling like stupid when I thought about him.
But he mistreated me emotionally, never wanted to meet but didn’t told me why tho.
I still have the fear that if I ever talk to him again I will fall for him.
That’s how I found out that it is true.:
There realy is no On/Off swich for love
No. Things change , people change and love fades without putting any effort.