For context, my best friend is male, 20, and I’m a female, 18. We are very open with each other and are purely platonic.
This all happened last week, he told me he’s trying to beat his masturbation addiction by quitting altogether (he used to do it 3-5 times a day). He hadn’t done it for an entire 2 weeks, and I thought it would be funny to straddle him, bounce a few times on him and fake moan his name, we laughed at first, but he seemed to have become ‘excited’ and then pushed me off and yelled. We both went quiet and I soon went home.
He hasn’t spoken to me for 6 days, he’s been avoiding my calls and we used to speak almost every day, I feel bad for doing it, but felt his reaction was a bit OTT.
EDIT: Feel like I should add, he probably wouldn’t consider this assault, we’ve always been goofy with each other like this, like butt slapping and half dressed spooning.
18 comments
Yeah that’s not funny, he was trying to overcome his problem. You don’t put drugs in front of a recovering drug addict
If I was your friend, I would feel like this verged on SA. Give them their space and if they come back, you should probably apologize profusely.
Not gonna lie that is a very weird thing to do. It’s normal and completely fine to make sexual jokes with friends and to talk about your sex lives, but i really feel like what you did crossed a line. Just because you’re friends doesn’t mean you can do ’assaulty’ behaviour. Imagine if a man just decided to forcefully spread his female friends legs and pretended to penetrate her. That’s not okay.
He’s trying to overcome an addiction where he was probably thinking of you while doing it and you just teased him then laughed about it.
Doesn’t sound OTT.
This is kind of a sexual assaulty joke, I wouldn’t be jazzed about it either
Oh dear, this is awkward hey?
Giving him a virtual lap dance will have had his hormones racing through his body and to his 😉
Surely you must have realised a young virile guy would get horny at you doing this!!!
Did you both enjoy it at the time then have instant regret?
Call him and discuss it, ask what he liked about it and what he feels awkward about.
Clear communication can definitely clear this up quickly if you’re ready to have this raunchy chat. It maybe something you can both laugh off once it’s all out there.
I wish you both well mate 🙂
Enjoy your youth and don’t regret this minor blip
Sounds like you guys aren’t as platonic as you say youse are.. prolly need to talk about more than just this instance.
Fucked around and found out huh?
Don’t SA your friends as a joke.
It was the act of what you did, combined with his masturbation addiction that’s the problem. You can’t give an alcoholic a drink and expect them to remain sober you can’t give a heroine addict Oxy and expect they’ll use it just the one time.
I’d also add that your friend is probably sexually attracted to you but he’s friendzoned
You may also have made him see you more than mates. And maybe he’s struggling to deal with it.
He probably realizes he doesn’t need a shitty friend like you around. You can try apologizing, sincerely, and owning how bad of a friend you are, then it’s up to him. If he wants to forgive you, he will, and if he doesn’t, too bad.
His reaction was over the top? Honey if one of my male friends decided to dry hump me and moan my name out of nowhere I probably wouldn’t talk to them again either. Learn some boundaries ffs, just because you’re a girl doesn’t mean you’re allowed to sexually harass people.
You shouldn’t have done that. It was disrespectful at the very least.
Basically he felt comfortable enough to sharing his intent of a very personal matter and you made light of it and exploited it in the name of a joke.
While you do not see it as a big deal and he overreacted, he obviously doesn’t feel the same. It was a big deal to him.
People are so quick to do these types of things but refuse to think for 2 seconds of they should.
What if you had admitted to him you had a sex addiction and was seeking treatment, and instead of supporting you he just grabbed your crotch and rubbed. How would you react?
Yeah this is a bizarre & inappropriate thing to do a platonic friend.
He probably feels humiliated and potentially violated. Tbh I wouldn’t be surprised if your friendship doesn’t fully recover from this.
You were a terrible friend. You made him feel weak and vulnerable as a joke. Own up, apologize, he’s not being over the top (so don’t mention that), and he might forgive you…if he doesn’t, then he doesn’t… either way, try respecting boundaries from now on.
At least you could have fuck together instead of no necessary teasing…
And it’s not SA.
Come on, everyone she’s 18 give her a break.
If it makes you feel any better, my wife did the same thing to me when we separated. I was doing great (about two weeks no orgasms period as she had accused me of being a sex addict). She literally phoned me in the middle of the night masturbating and talking about my amazing cock and whatnot. It was hilarious.
Your friendship will survive this if you both want it to. He’ll be fine and in no world is it “assault”.
He might’ve jizzed in his pants like that scene from “She’s out of my League.” That’s a real thing and a common reaction for that.