I’m 25 and pretty new to dating. I have been on 3 dates with the girl I’m seeing at the moment and they have all gone really well.
I have planned everyday date and I’ll probably be planning the rest in the future as she doesn’t really seem the type to take the lead.
Is this a bad sign or weird that I have do to all the planning?
11 comments
Depends on you and what you want in a partner. Nothing weird about it either way.
If you don’t want to plan every date, ask her to plan the next one.
This is a communication thing in some ways but also the social norm sometimes in male/female relationships.
The communication bit is going to be on you to communicate with her that you’d like her to to take charge sometimes and plan dates. Obviously it’s bit unnerving to ask for things but if you don’t then you’re relying on her reading your mind, which is unlikely haha.
Also to answer the question of do they ever plan or take the lead? Yes, anyone can the issue is really more due to personality than gender, you just happen to have someone who might be more passive than active.
As someone who plans dates for her relationship, it’s only because my bf is literally clueless on planning unless I help. For example, I gave him a hint to the birthday cake I wanted for a little celebration I wanted and he still got me the wrong cake. He’s great with planning vacations though so that’s the plus.
Most women end up planning dates when they see that the other person has little to no creative thinking. So there is a chance that she just trusts you with your creativity and to lead her to something she wants. Especially if there’s been a few dates. Take it as a good sign.
i am not leaving dates up to a man who i barely know. i’ll pick when, where and what we’re doing. i’m not wasting a cute outfit, gas money and my time to sit around doing nothing at his house. however, my boyfriend has earned my trust and is allowed to plan dates because he does a good job and it’s mutually a good time.
2 dates in, if she’s not planning the date or at least suggesting ideas for the third (if there’s going be a third), then there’s no long term potential. Quality time is important to me and I’m not going to date someone who I don’t feel like will be an active participant
I guess I can only speak for myself but a few dates in, I generally expect women to have some input or suggestions in date ideas, even if we don’t do exactly what they suggested. Could be my background. I was married to someone and felt I had to “carry” the relationship in a lot of ways and I don’t ever want to do that again.
I know people recommend blunt communication here, but to be totally honest, after a few dates I’d probably ask “what do you want to do” and if she hemmed and hawed and said “whatever” I might be a bit peeved. Either they’re too shy to suggest, they are disinterested, or they just dont value quality time the same way I do. Either way not great for our relationship. I don’t want to be nagging someone to bring something to the table if they don’t want to do it.
Your doing well the man makes the plans your the leader you lead the interaction where you want it to go. Women don’t want control they just want to show up to the date looking hot always make the plans with women.
When I dated the last man, I planned the thing we did before we went to his place where he made plans for food. So I decided we go to the museum and he decided what he’d made for dinner.
Literally once in my life has a woman planned a date.
People who post on Reddit are more likely to be planning dates.
It really depends on the person, but honestly, I think that both people should be giving effort.
This is not the same scenario, but when I go on trips with my partner of 7 years, we go back and forth on initiating and planning. I really need to just take him somewhere on a date; him and I haven’t done that in a long time….
Some women plan all dates, some women plan some dates, some women don’t plan any dates. If one of these is a deal-breaker for you, you should make a note of that and break things off whenever you find someone who is unsuitable for you.
I personally as a woman plan some dates. I think planning dates is work, not fun, so it’s a deal-breaker for me if the guy expects me to carry all of the burden and plans no dates. But I also do not think it’s fair to expect my partner to plan all of them.
It all depends on what you want out of a relationship.