To start out, I always have thought this quote applies to life; “everyone’s the hero of their own story.” I like to think I know a lot of my flaws and try my damnedest to fix them or make myself the best person I can be. But when it comes to relationships I feel like all I ever do if fuck things up.
She has always been super shy, reserved, self conscious, and clingy while I’ve been really confident, talkative, loud, and very independent. But I’ve always felt like I assure her that I find her beautiful in every way and find beauty in the things she doesn’t like. I still love everything about her and even though we’re opposites I find that beautiful in our relationship. I’ve always been super loving and it’s mutual, she is the same exact way.
Anyways I will be watching a show and tell her wow this girl is really pretty right? And she’s bi so she naturally will agree then get upset with my and self conscious. Then later during those nights she’ll call me and she’ll be crying because she thinks that I like them more than her. This happens all the time. Especially when we’re out on public. I’ll be like ooh that girl had nice (boobs, ass, legs, etc.) And point it out to her cause I think she’d like to see it. Or for another example today I was out with my buddies and we were just people watching and essentially looking at milfs and shit. She asked what we were doing and I told her we were looking at milfs and then has started ignoring me the rest of the day. Bear in mind that I’ve always said that I only think they’re hot or attractive or pretty because they look that way and that’s it. Like nothing past that by any means. I apologized cause I genuinely felt bad and felt like I was being a dick for saying that. And we have had small hiccups like I’ll send her a TikTok of a hot girl cause I think she’d find her hot then she’ll either get really upset or find it funny or something. But the confusing part is that she follows some hot guys and a lot of girls she finds really pretty or hot. I’ve never cared because I’ve always seen a really pretty woman and thought wow she’s super pretty and that’s always been a thing with me.
Essentially I’m asking advice on what to do as I’m lost. I don’t want to break up with her but I’ve been thinking I might not the best for her as she seems to be upset with me a lot. I understand couples go through some things but I’m not sure what to do.
TLDR: my gf doesn’t like that I find other girls pretty besides her even though I make it clear that I love her and don’t love them. I only think they are attractive and that’s it.
2 comments
i’m a little confused. you know for a fact that she isn’t gonna like (understandably) you pointing out other girls/calling them hot in front of her, so why do you keep doing it? it’s okay to think someone else is attractive in passing, but you should never mention it to your partner, especially if you know it’ll hurt her feelings. it’s not that you aren’t compatible or need to break up or something, it’s just a matter of recognizing that your actions are hurting her feelings, so you should stop doing them. nobody likes for their partner to constantly be pointing out attractive people (especially when insecurities are already present)
Why are you at a loss?
She has communicated over and over again that she does not like you commenting on other women. You keep doing it anyway. Then claim to have no idea why she’s always upset.
Is this a troll?
You’re deliberately and perpetually antagonizing her with these comments. Why?