what dumb pickup lines have been used on you?

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1. “Hey girl, what else you do with that mouth?” – A guy who saw me eating at work.

2. “Hey! It’s my birthday and you’re super hot. Want some MDMA?” To be fair, I appreciated both his frankness and his politeness when I turned him down.

3. At a bar with a friend, a guy walks up and says “Excuse me ladies, I don’t want to come between you two, or do I?” Pretty sure he lost a bet it was awkward and hilarious.

4. Me: 19, wearing a Felix the Cat tee in Algarve, Portugal

   Random local guy: (in English) are you a good pu**y?

   Me and other people on the street: *shocked stare*

   Guy: CAT! I MEANT CAT!

5. “I like the way you shake it” – 65 yr old man as I’m shaking his iced tea at starbucks. Said to me in front of his wife… same man also told me he wished short shorts were part of my uniform…

6. “Damn, I don’t usually go for black chicks, but I can get with a redbone like you. You remind me of Gina from “Martin”. Ignoring the racial shit, I look nothing like Tisha Campbell, and am more brown than her.

   Stupid white dudes will compare WOC to the first vaguely similar one the can think of, and too many men of all colors act like them desiring to do you is a compliment. Boy, you ain’t even worth the oxygen I breath in to expel a “No”.

7. “I’m jealous of your heart bc it’s beating inside of you and I’m not”