Women of Reddit, how do you feel about sexist and misogynistic gay men?

46 comments

  2. I used to be one of those teenagers who worships gay men. As I grew older, I started seeing their misogyny, and now I’m just disappointed and disgusted.

  3. The same as I feel about sexist and misogynist people of any gender and sexuality: not a fan. I’m not interested in being around people like that.

  4. Dislike them.

    They are usually more mean.

    But there’s also the comfort that they won’t be in a relationship with a woman and ruin her life or time of her life, so there’s that.

    So for the latest I would prefer them over misogynistic straight men.

  8. It does always baffle me when opressed people become opressors. White women who are racist. Gay men who are misogynists. Black men who are misogynists/homophobes, etc.

    You would think experiencing hate would make them not want to be a hater, but there are none so blind as those who will not see.

  9. Sad. Kinda like when other minorities are racist towards me. They should know what that kind of thing feels like and yet they choose to be the villain anyway.

  11. They contribute to already-widespread hatred of vaginas, which harms cis women as well as transmasculine and nonbinary folks who have vaginas.

    There are few things more off-putting than someone who thinks they’re being radical and cool by expressing an opinion that is actually already held by the crusty old status quo.

  12. More mean than straight men at times and I think it’s because no one REALLY calls them out on it, so they think they can get away with it

  13. The same as all sexist and misogynistic men – a big NO.

    Also, I’ve met a few who feel like they have some sort of “pass” to be this without it being wrong & it’s just like… NO.

  15. Same way I feel about sexist and misogynistic straight men, they’re annoying and should stop being so ignorant.

  17. Same as I feel about anyone who displays sexist, misogynistic behavior. Disgust and wanting nothing to do with them.

  19. why insert the gay aspect? no matter sexual orientation you should never be sexist nor misogynistic, nothing gives you a free pass to that

  20. Basically the same as I do for any sexist, misogynistic person of any orientation. Maybe a slight bit more disappointed, because they should understand marginalization and oppression better

  22. Just because you’re not attracted to women, it doesn’t give you the right to disrespect them. You’re also not “one of the girls” no matter how many times people say you are. You are a gentleman and should behave like one.

  23. Someones sexual orientation doesn’t factor into my opinion. But what I will say is that gay racist and misogynist men who adopt children of color and vote democrat are not “safe” based on this alone. Gay male misogyny is a special kind of misogyny though. It sneaks up on you.

  24. I know a gay man who just doesn’t like women. Thinks they’re weak and stupid. He in general just isn’t a nice person to be around anyway.

  25. They are truly awful and get away with being awful. It’s ironic how lesbians are automatically labeled as man haters but no one bats an eye when a gay man is being ultra misogynistic and disrespectful.

  28. Disgusted that they think they can get away with it l. I’ve seen a lot of gay men say they’re so thankful they’re attracted to men because women are bitches. And speaking badly of vaginas. Disgusting male behavior is disgusting male behavior.

  29. Uncomfortable, as they are more likely to care about and notice and judge my appearance.

  30. I don’t like misogynists of any gender or sexual orientation. Not dating or having sex with women = perfectly fine. Hating women for being women = not fine.

  31. Not a fan at all. I’ve had my boobs grabbed by a gay man, and I was shocked. And then pissed off. We should all respect one another and each other’s bodies. When I educated children, I taught them about consent at early ages, because it’s not taught or understood enough.

  32. Same way I view any other sexist person… Gross and icky lol. On the bright side, those boys will never get with a woman and make the poor girlie miserable, so that’s a relief.

  33. They’re just as bad as any other misogynistic man and deserve to be called out as such. Being gay, or any other minority group, doesn’t give you the right to be prejudiced against any other groups.

    Anyone who hides behind their sexuality to try to act free of blame for their actions should he ashamed of themselves.

  35. I’ve never met one actually.

    I watched the power of the dog the other night and that was most likely my first exposure of sorts to that kind of character.

    But yeah if anything most of the gay men I’ve met have been midandrist if they were sexist in any way.

    It’s an interesting dynamic because you know with normal misogynistic men a lot of that hatred is driven by their lack of what they’re “owed” aka sex, but with gay men that drive doesn’t exist. It makes it hard for me to imagine a gay man who hated women as a whole gender – but I’d be wary of one, I’d wonder where there drive for the hatred came other than social conditioning.

  37. The other night I was hanging out with some female acquaintances at my local skeeball bar. This group of gay men were there and took my friend’s pizza. When the guys were called out on it, one guy decided to be a compete jerk about it. He was intentionally trying to make my friends mad. He thought they were getting a pizza for free but one guy from his group paid for it. Then they walked out the door. I guess the guy who was being a jerk felt like he needed to have the last word. He walked back in and called our table a “bunch of fucking dykes”. One woman from my table was so offended (and drunk) she got up and had him in a headlock before her other friend got her off him. That’s when I learned that some gay men dislike lesbians. It was misogyny and homophobia to a degree. He definitely didn’t think this woman would get physical with him. He assumed we would sit there and take it. I found the whole interaction bizarre and his words were a reflection of him. It was not a worthwhile battle to me. But when people are discriminated against or bullied or treated less than because of things they have no control over, ie sex, race, etc, those doing it can suck it.

  39. Confused I guess. My gay uncle also says really transphobic things. You would guess, that someone who experienced discrimination would have some empathy. But I guess that’s not really how it works. Discriminating others, when you have experienced it yourself, might make someone feel powerf somehow if they aren’t really self-reflective.

  43. The same way I feel about mysognistic straight or bi men (hell women too), they’re idiots. Denying women rights or acting aggressive towards women only further sets back both genders. And really what’s the point of being sexist in this day and age, where does it get you? Can’t we all just get along and work towards being better humans together?

  44. Misogyny is misogyny. It’s okay if you’re not sexually attracted to women. It’s not okay to dehumanize us, touch us without permission, or just generally be gross. (Even as a “joke.”)

  45. I mean in general I’m cautious about men. If a man doesn’t like me and isn’t attracted to me, I feel like that’s a decent recipe to avoid each other and be at peace apart. I probably would never think of someone like that unless they were being mean directly to me or something.

  46. I know 2 young women who were recently roofied in a gay bar in NYC. Of all places, they NEVER thought it would happen there. When they realized what happened they immediately went home and eventually recovered physically. Mentally, I think they were shocked at what happened and now recognize that even those spaces are not safe for women. They called the bar the next day to tell them what happened and apparently the bar didn’t give a shit. All they wanted was a night out without being attacked by men, and clearly it’s just not possible for women to have that even in spaces without het-men.

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