I have been living in the US for a few years now and have never been able to get over seeing kids of different ages swear at their parents.

I wouldn’t say it happens often but, in the last week, I witnessed a teenage girl calling her dad an effing idiot on the streets of New York after he accidentally led her the wrong way and they had to turn around and walk back. I also learned that the 13-year-old son of a friend called his mother (my friend) the c-word after she refused to buy him the shoes he wanted at a store. To her face and in front of everyone present without any fear of, I don’t know, hurting his mom’s feelings or even being slapped into eternity!

I’ve never seen this in any other country and cannot imagine a world in which I’d talk that way to my own immigrant parents as either a child or an adult (not because of anything they’d do to me but because I would die in shame before hurting them like that).

Obviously each family dynamic is different but I was wondering how Americans view this kind of thing. Is this normal? Would your parents (immigrant or not) have stood for it?

I shudder at even the possibility that any hypothetical kids could talk that way to me.

17 comments

  1. Calling my dad a “fucking idiot” would’ve gotten me smacked.

    Calling my mom the C word would have ended with my Dad inventing 38 new martial arts during the resulting ass kicking. Then they’d find me at the bottom of a well.

  2. I don’t think I’ve ever called my parents a name. I think I have said “I don’t f-king care!” in anger to my mom once. Other than that I cuss in front of my parents in a general way but not *at* them.

    I’d say it’s an individual family situation thing :/ I remember being shocked at the way my soccer teammate spoke to and about her parents, calling them “dumbasses” and etc, I would never lol.

  3. It’s a white thing tbh. Def not gonna see black and brown kids doing that without getting that ass beat lmao. I couldn’t even imagine cussing around my mom

  4. That’s poor parenting, plain and simple. Say what you will but the bar soap prevented some swearing and losing privileges/getting extra chores even more. Wasn’t smacked much or spanked much after elementary school.

    We weren’t allowed to get away with, shit, fuck, damn, saying “that sucks”, asshole and so forth…. What we could get away with was saying crud, crap, dang, darn, and occasionally jackass. But never about my family members, other people or God. Dad likes to udder, son of a gun. lol

  5. I’m a full grown adult and still seriously watch my language in front of my parents. I don’t even want to know what would happen if I treated my parents like your examples.

  6. If I had talked to my Asian parents like that, they would have put their hands on me.

  8. The apple doesn’t fall from from the tree. I think alot has to do with being a product of your environment and how you’re raised.

  9. I don’t curse in front of my family at all and would never even think of cursing at my mother. Although I know some of my friends do around their parents which weirds me out. I guess I was just raised differently.

  11. My parents would have buried me if I talked to them like that. I didn’t notice any swearing at parents growing up, but did very much notice rude tones my friends would use at their parents who evidently did not spank them or put bars of soap in their mouth like my parents did if I talked out of turn or swore. (Before any one gets uppity, I’m not saying I condone these punishments)

    The way kids treat their parents nowadays can be very appalling, and I say that as a millennial

  12. No, this isn’t normal for Americans. I’d say it’s more common for white Americans but still not that common. I’m black-I’d have had that black slapped off me if I tried to swear at my mom.

  13. It’s 100% not a “cultural” thing. I could cuss around my mom (and dad) as I became older – like 16+ – but my mother would’ve “kicked my ass into next week” if I EVER cussed *at* her.

    I do hear some children cussing and it amazes me that the parents just don’t care. I ran by two siblings at the store that were maybe 6 and 8 and one goes “God damn it, X, would you shut the fuck up so I can get the chips I want.” My jaw was on the floor. I thought my mom was gonna come back to fucking life to smack the shit out of those kids. 😂

    It’s piss poor parenting, not culture.

    And for good measure while we’re here – fuck it! 🙂

  15. I was 28 years old the first time I said “the f word” in front of my parents!

  16. That would’ve never flown in my household. My parents hardly ever cussed in front of us kids growing up, beyond the occasional “shit” when something broke or went wrong. I specially remember asking my mother when I was about 13 if I could cuss when the word was in a song and I was singing along to it, which see allowed. I got to say, “this shit is bananas” to Gwen Stefani’s song and bitch in one of Britney Spears songs and I thought it was so fun and rebellious at the time hahah

    I would never ever cuss AT them. Now that all the siblings are adults though my whole family definitely cusses a lot more around each other but still never at each other.

  17. It’s certainly frowned upon. My parents would certainly have never stood for it.

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