I (18, f) have a crush on my friend and classmate (18, f).
Nonetheless, I don’t want to pursue a relationship for many reasons.
I’m in senior year (after summer vacation) and want to focus on school and may move away when I go to college. I don’t care and see no point in making the effort of find out if she feels the same.
But it’s fair to assume she’s oblivious to how I feel. I use homework and studying as a frequent excuse to not spend time alone with her in school. One time she suggested we could study together, I declined. Simply because I hope the distance makes the crush peter out on its own.
Now we’re going on this school trip for a week and she wants to share a room with me. Obviously I want to steer clear of contact and intimate situations, when I know it will upset me. It’s already upsetting me to loose progress and to feel vulnerable/trapped.
I’m afraid during this school trip she’ll become actually aware of my avoidance or bitterness and assume I no longer want to be friends. But don’t get me wrong, I appreciate her as a friend. I’m just desperately trying to get over the attraction I feel as well.
Confessing my feelings is an option, but it comes with the risk of her becoming uncomfortable or resentful.
TLDR; How do I get over my crush on a classmate when I can’t really avoid being around her?