women of reddit, what was your “that’s it, i’m done” then walked away moment?

45 comments

  2. He had been gaslighting me for the entire relationship to the point I started recording what he was saying.

    He said something and I disagreed and told him he had said something else previously. He gaslighted me and started to get angry.

    When I adamantly refused to believe him he told me I needed to got to the doctor to get on medication for my “paranoia” even though I had what he originally said recorded.

  3. When he cheated on me for the third time that week, with a person online that wasn’t even real. I know this ’cause anyone could see that it was a fake account. This was later confirmed to be true. I was dumb enough to give him a chance after the first time, but when that happened I was like: “Nah.” He then tried to convince me that my new boyfriend after him was cheating on me, in an effort to win me back. You mean… like you did? What a clown.

  4. it had been an awful emotionally abuse relationship up until the point it turned physical. he choked me while i was driving and tried to drive the car off the road. situation isn’t funny but i do get a quick laugh when i remember he acted that way because i wouldn’t text his mom for him to ask if he can stay at my place (i was still in high school at the time)

  5. When my date took me to a WW2 museum and said “The Nazis weren’t all that bad”

    Edit: Lotsa people asking me about this in DMs so I’ll just post it here, basically we decided to go on a date and he thought taking me to a museum would be fun, he decided to take me a WW2 museum which I thought was kinda odd, we looked at old tanks and weapons and uniforms and eventually we got to this big war memorial that had pictures of American troops in uniform, Russian troops in uniform, and then the Nazi Germany SS in uniform, and that’s when he said “The Nazis weren’t all that bad” And then he just stayed silent looking at the picture for a solid 5 minutes, eventually I told him I needed to use the bathroom and I just left, when I got home I texted him telling him that what he said was suuuuper creepy and fucked up, he tried telling me what he MEANT to say was that their uniforms weren’t all that bad but it came out wrong, I didn’t believe it for a second because other people that also knew him that I told the story to said it made sense since he was obsessed with Nazis, guess no one wanted to tell me that when they all knew I was going out on a date with him =|

  6. He cheated, manipulated, gaslighting, called me crazy so many times in the couple years I stupidly put up with him BUT it was one day he crossed a certain line I did not know I had. He called me a stupid bitch. For some reason that was it, I no longer felt weak- I felt true deep anger. I was soooo angry I threw all his stuff into the dumpster at my apartment. I never spoke to him again. It is so out of character for me to be an angry person or throw something away that is valuable. I felt so powerful.

  8. We were long distance. When he left the bed unmade and a tag for a new shirt on the floor for me to clean up. I went from “so sad he’s leaving” to “I swear to god I will never ever feel this way again”.

  9. When my parents threw my past abusive relationship in my face, when I called out my 45 year old brother out for trolling university bars and taking advantage of drunk 20 year olds and completely destroying their lives…all while leaving his 4 year old with my 70+ year old parents to take care of.

    That was the straw that broke the camel’s back. I said my piece and walked away from them all. Haven’t regretted it a single second and my life has a lot less drama in it now.

  10. Playing final fantasy 13 i was like 2 more rounds away from killing a boss i spent like 1.5 hrs fighting, suddenly used a super move and killed my whole party in one swipe. It was such a collasal waste of time. Never played it again

  11. He asked me to babysit his toddler because it was an emergency. Apparently he had an emergency every week.

    This final time his daughter was being an absolute nightmare, begging for her Daddy. Another girl I was friends with posted a picture on Instagram with him drinking.

  12. My ex husband was very smart, a good guy deep down – he had a lot of potential. He also struggled very hard with depression and executive function. I didn’t want to be his mom or push him too hard, so I played with kid gloves most of the time. I asked him to get help several times; he never listened.

    He graduated college after 10 years of trying and never applied to a single job. He sat around for 2 years doing nothing, and then decided to aim for med school. I was dubious, but supported him. I hoped this would be the push he needed, he was very excited. He took some extra university courses, did great. He spent 30 mins at the birth of our son so he could get to class; he was dedicated.

    Then it came time to apply to med school. He had an entire. year. heads up about the due date of the application. 11:50 the night of the deadline, he sat there writing the “essay” portion because he’d never done it before. At 11:58, he attempted to submit it (without copying what he’d wrote). The webpage had been open too long and didn’t submit properly. He lost all the work and gave up on applying that year.

    That was the night I started planning my exit. There were a lot of other things going on in our relationship, but that was the moment I knew I couldn’t keep trying.

    As an aside: after I left he did apply and was accepted. It took him 6 years to complete the 4 year program. He graduated but failed the final test to be certified so couldn’t move on. He retook that a year later and passed but now can’t get a residency spot (can’t get or didn’t apply to any? Obviously I’m not privy to inside information anymore haha). I’ve never been sorry I got away from that.

  13. Not dealing with husband/ boyfriends but toxic work men.

    I was sitting around the larger conference room to a meeting I was just casually involved in. I was of course the only woman. The director ( a piece of shit human being) walked into the room and gave me his computer and said “ set it all up”. And walked out. I had zero ducks to give anymore, I was recently back from Mat leave and that same day he had the nerve to ask who the picture of the kid was. When I said my son he responded, oh didn’t realize that was you pregnant, just fat.

    I didn’t touch the computer or get anything set up. His little minions kept telling me to and I said feel free, that’s not my job. He walks in 5 minutes after the meeting should start with HIS director and asks why nothing is ready to go. I just smiled and said, not sure, douche canoe ( insert real name) is running this meeting.

    I applied out a week later and gave no notice. I did call HR and report it all after the fact.

  14. My coworker would go on sexist rants and would find any excuse to talk shit about attractive women who came to our bar. I had already complained to management about his racist and sexist remarks. He would drink on shift and become increasingly irate. The more he had to drink, the more he would follow you around and ramble. One day while working together, I found his gun in a drawer in the bar. Put in my two weeks the next day. No thank you. That was my final straw, bartending was not worth getting shot by a drunk incel.

    As far as I know, nothing happened to him. At least I won’t be there when he loses control and shoots somebody🤷‍♀️

  15. Love bombing. I got heaps off attention then it slowed down, he would say that he would spend time with me then not hear from him. I was getting hurt every time, I broke up with him sure it hurt but that would be the last pain.

  16. My boss got so angry he threw pens near my face and kicked the printer so hard it broke. We worked alone together. When I told him he was being abusive and scaring me, he told me I wasn’t cut out for this work.

    Quit and got a better job.

  17. Called my in the middle of the night to tell me I was a whore for wanting to do burlesque when I had classes the next day. A few other times I should have left but didn’t. Nope

  18. We had been in a relationship for almost a year and the whole time he was manipulating and gaslighting me to a point where i broke down one night. I had been going through a lot at the time with family and losing my job over the pandemic and he knew i was struggling mentally. When I left the bedroom after I broke down. He went to bed. I called my sister and she calmed me down. I went to sleep crying and the next morning he told me that he thought I would try to commit suicide. And when I asked him why he didnt follow me out if he thought that, his response was that he was tired and needed to sleep. He was sure I was suicidal, yet he wanted to sleep. I knew we were heading towards an end to our relationship but I didnt think it was that bad. Needless to say I dropped off all his belongings that were at my place a few days later.

  19. This was a guy friend of mine. We dated when we first met, but soon discovered that we were better friends. We’d had a solid but distant friendship for about 5 years when this occured.

    He had asked me to head out for a drink, he was bringing his new gf who I was excited to meet, and asked if it was okay to bring a work mate, as all 3 of them worked together.

    After I got there, their work mate actually approached me, and introduced himself. I though it was odd he kinda knew me. I called my friend and asked if he was far off, and that’s when he said that he and his girlfriend couldn’t come but I should stick around.

    That’s when I realised what happened. I was single, he had a work mate who was looking for a hook up, and he set me up without any warning.

    I always knew he had an unhealthy need for male approval and friendship, but this was just so much lower than I thought he could go.

    I walked out of that bar without saying a word and haven’t spoken to him since. And he hasn’t reached out to me either. That hurt.

  20. This guy I met online randomly and chatted for a few days kept on begging that we meet. I don’t do meetups without knowing a person for a long time but this one kept on calling and asking for every update. Until one day, he told me that if I won’t go and meet up with him, he’ll come to find me in my university. So reluctantly, I agreed to meet up with him for lunch on a restaurant halfway from both of our univs. During the meal, he started touching my leg.

    With that, I excused myself to the bathroom, called for a local motorcycle service and got the hell out of the restaurant. Blocked him while I was on the trip home back to the dorm.

  21. He constantly talked over me when he didn’t like the stuff I had to say. I ended up keeping a list of stuff to bring up to him when I got the chance and the list just kept getting longer and longer. Didn’t realize how stressed I was and how much resentment had built up in me until I talked to a friend and everything came spewing out. Broke things off immediately after that.

  23. My hospital told me that it was okay for me, a non stroke certified nurse, to be charge nurse of the stroke unit (due to short staffing). Absolutely not, not safe for me, all the new grads, and the patients. Administration told me it would be fine because I personally wouldn’t have stroke patients myself, but I’m just there because I know hospital policy/procedure and that I wouldn’t have any responsibility if something were to go wrong. (haha, no have you been following the ravonda Vaught case?)

    They also expected this on top of working nights without administrative support (always had one in the building, but they all quit), sometimes lab/phleb wouldn’t show and we wouldn’t know, one ONE respiratory therapist in house. It was too much, but that charge situation broke me and I left. And life is great now.

    And guess who had to shut down their stroke unit.

  24. When after months on on and off again he didn’t even bother being there when our daughter was born.
    Our proper relationship ended when I was 4 months pregnancy because I defended myself against his trapping me in rooms etc. for the next 5 months it was on and off.
    The morning I gave birth (was induced so wasn’t even like he was too busy or whatever) he text me a dory from finding nemo gif and told me to “be good”

  25. Gaslit me and was emotionally abusive the whole time but I didn’t snap out of it until outside people were telling me I was being treated badly. The last straw was when HE spilled a drink in my car, I told him he would have to clean it up and he proceeded to yell at me in front of my friends that were with us. There were lots of other moments before that but I knew I was done for sure at that moment.

  26. When I came home from work after a 16 hour shift and he wanted to argue about something stupid, we had been having a lot of fights lately and I was over it. I just sat there thinking this is it, it’s never going to change. I stood up and said I’m done I’m going to bed and starting walking to the bedroom. He yelled “GET BACK HERE IM NOT DONE TALKING TO YOU” and in that moment I was done, I looked at him and said nope I’m DONE, we are done.
    Long story short Within a month I was in my new house and single. It was a mess he didn’t believe we were over because we had split up before and got back together but that was the last time.

    Edit typo

  27. When we were watching UFC at a bar with some friends, he was drunk & didn’t like who I was rooting for (I just pick a random fighter to “cheer” for as idgaf) so he flicked me in the cheek and called me a cunt. I got up, left, saw him once more to talk it out & he punched an oscillating fan so I just walked away. It sucks because he’s actually a wonderful guy but he was definitely in the middle of some struggles with substance abuse & I wasn’t able to take that on as a single mom.

  28. During one of many low points in my life i was seeing a guy who i thought had his shit together because he has an engineering degree. Turns out he drowned his expensive truck and how to go to rehab and then a halfway house which is why he had a curfew he was super strict about. He got kicked out of that halfway house and had to move into a community college dorm for people who failed out of the program. I was still hanging out with him but just as friends. He made me a Kraft mac n cheese microwavable bowl and acted like he was treating me to a good meal and i walked out then and there and vowed to never date OR befriend a loser again even if i was depressed and feeling low self esteem.

  29. i had tolerated his bullshit and emotional manipulation for about 4 years. one day, my sister was in town and i booked us a car to go to a far off hiking spot. i had a cold that time btw but i pulled through. when we were going back, it was the evening and the car AC was bothering my cold a little too much. he was driving because he was the only one with a license. i asked him to turn off the AC because i was not feeling well. he said that if i was that bothered by the AC, i should go sit in the back. lol. that was the day i realized how little he cared about me. i fell terribly sick after that day for a week and i never heard from him. i lost every bit of love and care i had for him that day. it took me several months to realize that apart from emotional manipulation, all he did was exploit me for money and sex. i hate him so much.

  30. I had put up with 3 years of cheating, assaults sexually, physically, and verbally. He would kick me out of the apartment for angering him and I would have to sleep in my car until he was ready to “forgive me”. One night he went to his friend’s apartment and got wasted. He called me at 4am to come pick him up 30 minutes away. I did as he asked and just as I am a minute from his friend’s place my cell rings. It’s him, drunkenly stating “I’m home, thanks for nothing.” He had driven himself anyway because he didn’t want to wait for me to pick him up and apparently thought I wasn’t actually coming. I snapped my pink Motorola Razr shut and drove back to our place, gathered my shit, told him I was done, and called my mom. Her first words to me were “Thank God. Come home.”

  31. I don’t know if this comment is allowed or too off topic, but I needed to read these replies for my hope in humanity. Thank you for posting.

    So many sub Reddits are filled with people (of any gender) putting up with absolutely deplorable behavior from people who are supposed to care about them, and not realizing how not normal it is. I don’t mean to victim blame, I grew up in one of those situations so I know what it’s like to be completely oblivious to the severity of it.

    It’s just nice to hear the testimony of people that were able to come out the other side.

  32. He showed up late which made me miss dinner because we were meant to go out to eat together. He’d told me to wait in a bar for him so I sat with my friends who were out. When he walked up the stairs and found me I could tell from the look on his face it was going to be a hell of a night. As I was walking out with him he was like “I can’t stand them. None of them like you, no one likes you” then kept going on how apparently my friends always ask him to go out with them and not bring me. I was calling a different group of friends to see where they were and he stood in front of me complaining how I lost weight off my chest (he’d previously told me to lose that weight.) Then he decided he wanted to get money out but the machine charges so he didn’t want to use his card so I got it out of mine. I bought our drinks in a different bar as soon as his was ready he picked it up and walked off. I found him, sat down and gave him the options for the night. He said “stop talking you’re turning me off.” When he turned back around I tried to smile at him, he replied “that’s a f- you smile.” I looked down at my drink and he kept saying “oh come on, what’s your problem with me?” Then I looked around the bar and everyone looked back at me worried. I saw a friend outside, pointed her out and he said I should sleep with the guy she was going out with and send her pictures. I replied “I’m not like that.” He said “I know but you should be.” I went to go and talk to her to see if she’d help me but he stood across the street watching me, waiting for me to say something.

    I eventually left that night and told him never to contact me again. A few months later he chased me around a club I was in, don’t know what would have happened if he’d gotten hold of me. I found out later that the friend I’d ran to had done “stuff” with him behind my back so I got context to his comments in the end.

    I have another story about a different guy but I feel like I’ve already typed too much 😅.

  33. It didn’t happen overnight but two things – he wouldn’t cook me dinner the day I came home from having abdominal surgery and when my pet died (whilst having an op at the vets) he wouldn’t comfort me nor would take me to say goodbye to them.

    In reality, the moment should have been the first few months when he kept ghosting me on dates. For some reason I decided to stay and see where things went but now I look back and it was a major red flag

  34. When I realized that he was about to do with me what he had already done with his previous girlfriend and the one before: securing himself a steady new relationship before breaking up with me, even though he didn’t want to be with me any more.

    I walked away when he was still in the flirting/pre dating phase. I was told a couple of months later *by his mom* that he had a new girlfriend and that it seemed very serious. And another couple of months later a mutual friend told me he had moved abroad

  35. My ex was still living with his parents, and I came over for dinner with them. His mum had lit some candels in the dining room, and my ex decided that she was trying to poison him (he had just read an article about how even small fires can spread dangerous particles). Dinner ended up with him and his parents yelling at each other over the dinner table, with my ex wearing a gas mask and refusing to eat.

  37. My mom abused me for 27 years (emotionally and financially). I was her doctor, therapist, bank, nurse… you get the idea with parentification. One day, she was talking about her drama again — something about my stepdad. I just snapped and said that I was quitting my job and moving to another state. She didn’t believe me. I’ve been no contact for like two years now.

  38. Long distance relationship (but only a couple hours on a bus). We were having an argument about him guilt-tripping me for not wanting to have sex while I was sick, which felt really out of character because he was really consent-focused. I couldn’t figure out where this argument was coming from, other than selfishness. At some point, he tried to say he didn’t try to force himself on me, so what reason could I have to be upset?

    To hear him say out loud that he didn’t think a woman has a right to be upset about sexual coercion unless it’s actually an attempted rape? I threw my stuff in my bag, bought a new bus ticket, and walked out.

    (Better yet, he called me a couple hours later asking when I was coming back. And was SHOCKED that I was actually on the bus home. Because apparently he thought I was just being dramatic to make a point, and that when I said I bought a new ticket and was leaving, he thought I was trying to manipulate him into chasing me or something?? And expected me to be just pouting in a park waiting for him to call?? Like, no, asshat, I have never done that and would never, I’m halfway home, we’re done.)

  39. After five years of severe abuse, someone I had just met saw me take a phone call with my then boyfriend. He came up to me a few days later at our mutual friend’s house and said “I saw your face when you answered the phone. You looked upset and scared. It’s not right for a boyfriend to make you look the way I saw you look”. He wasn’t doing it in a creepy way. He wasn’t trying to get into my pants. He was just a nice guy, making an observation and checking to see if I was okay. Plenty of people in my life had told me to get rid of that asshole but something about an acquaintance that I had just met making that observation just snapped me out of the fog I had been in. We became friends and he helped me get away. I am convinced that that relationship would have killed me and 15 years later, I am still so grateful to him for essentially saving my life.

  40. He told me he thought women don’t deserve the right to vote because women can’t be drafted.

  41. He challenged me. Said, “You’ll never call the cops.”

    I did. The cops say he has a right to live here. At the end of my lease (which he isn’t on, btw) I’ll be exercising my right to move.

  42. Used to work reception, crappy pay and expected unpaid overtime but hey i needed the money. Told my manager that i will work both Christmas and NY on the condition that i get my vacation days approved for end of Jan begging of Feb, a dead time for most hotels, she took the deal and all was good. I did my part but my vacation was still not aproved. I asked her about it and she said she will but she has to see if she can, basically bs! I did check with my colleagues and none had overlapping days and they got their vacations aproved, so why not me?! Well anout 30 days before my vacation i handed in my notice and went on vacation. It was awesome seeing her lose her shit!

  43. I told my husband that he needed to lay off our daughter for getting a B on a unit in chemistry. She was asking to quit all her extra-curriculars (that she loved) and didn’t to get out of bed. I said we needed to be worried about her mental state.

    He said “Well, if the kids aren’t going to respect what I say, then maybe I should leave.”

    It literally flipped the switch on my feelings for him, after 20 years together. Instantly. Our child was struggling and he was so self-absorbed that he could only think about himself.

    Done.

  44. For me it was, she would verbally and physically abuse me and I just thought I was in love, but she one day decided to call me a: No good Leather wearing ugly-ass Irish son of a bitch. It was in that moment I just got all of her stuff(we lived in a apartment that I PAID for)and threw it out the door,then I just told her to get out. That same day I told the cops about her abuse to humans and in some cases worst animals.she still can’t buy animals or be with people in uncrowded areas. That was last year

  45. I hope I can post about a job related moment because this just happened last night. I work at the front desk at a nursing home. A man walked in and said he wanted to visit his wife. He was just kicked out for profanity a day before. He demanded I go get a wheelchair and leave the desk to wheel him up to see her (10 minute walk). I told him I am not allowed to leave the desk.

    He started screaming and calling me names. It’s a Saturday and my on-call boss took his side stating “that’s just how he is” and told me to just do what he says.

    I said I am not going to be called a “stupid mfing bitch” and a “cu*t” and quit on the spot.

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