Does your SO have full access to your phone and all your various accounts? Why or why not? including social media, bank, email

20 comments

1. No, and I don’t to theirs. Nor do I want it.

   We enjoy our own private spaces, including digital spaces, and we are secure enough about our relationship and trust eachother enough that it’s not an issue.

   Down the line there will be some shared finances, but even then I don’t want or need to know how they spend their money.

2. yes to financials as we share accounts but no to passwords to devices etc. If he needs access to my laptop I have no problems letting him use it. I’ve used his laptop before (different OS) and I told him to just type in his password and didn’t care to even see or know it. We just don’t feel the need to know those things because they’re private and he’s never given me any reason not to trust him.

3. Nope. Never. I will never allow my privacy to be invaded. Nor will invade my partners.

4. They have the information needed to access all of it and my consent to do so if/when needed.

   We have fully joint finances, so all financial accounts are available to both of us. We technically have each other’s passwords to social media/email, but those would generally only be used in case of emergencies or with the other person’s knowledge and consent. We have our fingerprints/passcodes to each other’s phones to access most other things as needed.

   It’s just easier and more convenient for us to have access if it’s ever needed. We both trust each other and value each other’s consent and privacy, so it’s not like anyone is being weird or controlling about it or snooping in each other’s personal business.

   It’s like having a key to someone’s house. Having it available is fine. Using it to creep around and snoop in the person’s closets and medicine cabinets without their direct consent would be creepy and inappropriate.

5. I wouldn’t say full access, like they don’t have all of the info for it but I’d be willing to let them in it if they needed it for any reason. I do have all of his, only because he forgets everything if I don’t remember or write it down. I trust him. He trusts me. You know that when you have all access and don’t snoop.

6. Yes. Likewise I have access to his. Do we ever use that privilege? No. But we’re 50 and have been together 23 years and when one of us dies, having access to all the things will make paperwork and death stuff easier.

7. No.

   He does not get access to my bank because our financials are separate. He doesn’t have access to any personal accounts like email either because I don’t know why he would need it? I don’t have access to his either. He could get into my phone if he wanted but we don’t go snooping through each other’s phones.

   He does have access to receive medical information on me from my doctor’s office. We aren’t married but do live together so it was important to me that he could know what was going on with me medically if needed.

8. No. We are adults who can manage our own emotions. Having access to all of his accounts sounds both overwhelming and excessively boring.

9. No, what the fuck?

10. No. I do not allow my SO to use my phone and vice versa, unless it’s an emergency. We would never want each other’s social media passwords.

11. Does he? Yep. Does he care to remember my fb / Netflix / twitter passwords? No.

    Did I purposefully change most of my passwords to his so I wouldn’t have to remember so many passwords? Yep. That’s called communication and trust.

    We’re married; if something were to happen to either of us wouldn’t you want to be able to get into important places for details, information, money, or just photo memories?

12. No. I don’t see the point of them having it. I don’t want theirs either.

13. He’s never asked to see my phone but if he did, I would be fine with that. I don’t have anything to hide. Not sure why he’d need to see my bank account lol. The only thing that comes out of there are bills (and groceries).

14. My husband and I share a bank account. If I asked, he’d give me access to everything and vice versa. We don’t really have eachothers social media passwords saved or anything.

15. I mean I wouldn’t care if he had access to all of that but besides the fact that he trusts me he would probably think looking at all of my shit would be incredibly boring lol

16. No. Sounds incredibly invasive.

17. My husband doesn’t have any of this information just because there is no need for him to so he has never asked. Our finances are separate. I don’t have access to his bank or email account and he doesn’t have social media.

    With that being said, I would not think twice about giving him any of this information if he asked and any time I needed personal info about him for specific reasons he has given it to me without asking why I needed it.

    We are also both 100% comfortable handing each other our unlocked phone. For example he will want to show me a website, he will just hand me his phone, or if he gets a notification while he is driving he will hand it to me to read him the message.

    We are both boring people with nothing to hide.

18. I have over 200 passwords. No, I don’t share all of them with anyone. I do use a password manager with a feature to give my emergency contact access after I die.

    Sadly, a relative died by suicide recently and it was a ton of work for his family to get access to his bank and utility accounts. They really didn’t need that struggle in the middle of trying to grieve.

    PSA: please think about your digital presence in addition to your physical property when doing your estate planning.

19. No but if he asks then he can have it. I have access to all of his things, but that’s because he’s been on dating sites our whole relationship, had a few emotional affairs and one physical affair. So now I have acesss to his phone, email, social media, computer etc

20. Yes because we have nothing to hide from each other. We’ve been together 14 years, and while we don’t share every single thing, we don’t have secrets. We use each other’s phone on occasion, but never actually snoop because we trust each other.