So me and my sister are really close, I consider her my best friend and I love hanging out with her. However each day after dinner as Im feeling sleepy I like to wind down and watch a youtube video in my room, brush my teeth and go to bed. However my sister is adamant on barging into my room and sitting there and hanging out, which ranges from talking to forcing me to play games to just tickling me and shit, and all thats fine except I really dont wanna do it and in doing so it completely takes away all my sleepiness. Like here I am trying to wind down and she comes in like a rabid animal and wants to have fun like we’re in the park. Ive tried telling her over and over and she just wont listen. She usually takes upto 2 hours which since Im usually about to go to bed at 1 am makes my bed time 2-3 am after which birds start chirping and shit and I get anxious and cant sleep. Even the times when she doesnt take 2 hours and leaves in 10-15 mins after dinner I really dont wanna talk to her but she just doesnt understand and gets really aggressive. Ive tried everything even forcefully pushing her out but she works out alot and so is really ripped and bizarrely strong for a 13 yr old and just freakishly energetic and in tackling her out she just acts like a rabid hyena and I often end up hurting myself, be it twisting my fingers, getting my eye gouged, or headbutted in my nose. Its really starting to piss me off and Im genuinely starting to hate her, Im afraid Im gonna lose my cool someday and just slap her if she doesnt stop. How do I prevent this and how do I get her to leave me the fuck alone at night?
11 comments
What time are you having dinner? This all seems really late to me. Then again I have young kids so my bedtime is their bedtime. Where are your parents? Why aren’t they handling this in any way? If I was them, I would help set boundaries. That’s why all my kids have their own rooms. (Not that you don’t, I’m just saying. I wanted them to have their space to escape to, which yours is currently being invaded.)
Also, can you invest in a doorknob with a lock, or any kind of door locking mechanisms?
She might be at the age in which she changes pretty rapidly, or maybe it’ll take a year or two, and she probably suddenly won’t play with you like that anymore. So I’m partially saying that you can sustain this for a little while more, until she develops more social senses and switches her focus to friends.
But of course you should continue trying to make her understand that you can’t have fun if you are tired and want to sleep, and it’s not nice to force people. I don’t suggest doing anything harsher, maybe pushing her away from the room can be fine, but not much more. She’ll start to understand it soon, just be patient a bit more.
Perhaps you can set a firm time limit? Like no visting after midnight unless she is having a nightmare or something like that? And maybe you can get help from your parents to enforce this.
Question, has this started suddenly? Or has she done this for a long time?
This poster hit the nail on the head.
Parents. Door locks. Telling her through your locked door that she needs to relax and grow up a bit because you love her but this childish behavior when you’re trying to sleep. Don’t forget to tell her you still love her to death you just want your sleep and aren’t a child.
Along with what others are saying, I wonder how much attention she gets from your parents based on your description of their work/schedules. If she doesn’t get much, and especially due to the large age gap, it’s possible that she seeks you out for attention/affection/physical contact/quality time, etc. She may have bonded with you as her closest family member that she gets attention from. You could possibly trying acknowledging this and talking with her about it. And/or you could experiment a bit by giving her some quality time/affection earlier in the day when you are not trying to go to bed. This way she may feel fulfilled and leave you alone later in the evening. This is especially true if her love language is quality time. She may just need those needs filled and may not be getting it from mom and dad? You would know, but it’s a thought.
Yeah it seems as if your mum is pretty absent and dad isn’t really in the picture – this is obviously effected her which is why she’s fixated on you
I feel really sorry for this young girl, she obviously feels neglected which is why she’s behaving like this
I have a 7 year old sister and a 14 year old special needs brother and your best bet is to be really firm with her and tell her you need space and set a schedule for when you can hang out, don’t let her in your room tell her you need to sleep and you’re not in the mood to hang out – she will get the idea and will eventually back off I’ve seen this same problem play out like this before – please for the LOVE of god do not lay hands on her, not only are you way too old for that shit but it would break her and she would never look at you the same
Older family members used to use physical violence as punishment on me and I promised to myself that no matter how much my younger siblings would annoy me I would never lay a hand on them.
Use your logic shes a 13 year old girl not a jihadist
Give her half an hour. Use a timer. Talk to your parents. 1am is late to be up. Lock your door. Lose your cool if you have to you needsleep
How tf can a pre teen girl be stronger than a adult man lmao?
Your sister sounds like she could be autistic. The violence is not normal. Your parents can’t ignore her behavior and need to take her to a doctor. This is the age where autism escalates so for her benefit get your mother to have her evaluated immediately. If your parents won’t, get a relative to do it. Your sister can harm you or yourself. If she is autistic, she can’t control herself and no amount of rules or talking will change her. Again, she is not normal and needs help.
Move out. This sounds like a crazy dysfunctional situation. A 13yo regularly up past midnight? Dinner at 11.30pm? How do any of you function for things such as school and work?
If not maybe buy a small fridge for your own room and get some supplies of your own.
Is she on the spectrum? They can get obsessed with people and routine, she sounds and acts exactly like my cousin did around her age and also my 5 year old exhibits these actions as well:) could be mild too, girls are extra tricky at masking autism too some people just never know. It takes them an extremely long long time to learn and accept boundaries, no means nothing to them lol😊