Me and my boyfriend have recently had a lot of arguments. Most of these end up with him wanting to have space. Which I do give him. I talk to my friends about it but they say he is manipulating me because after every argument he buys me gifts and says he loves me. I don’t think he is. I feel like he doesn’t love me anymore. But then again when he says he loves me I believe it. He also has a habit of being nonchalant.
Some of the arguments are because I’m crying and I don’t tell him why I’m crying. So he assumes that I am crying over a guy that I am in love with that’s not him. But there was also the fact I hung up on the phone once because I didn’t feel like talking anymore and had a bad breakdown and the next day he didn’t text me all day. I normally text first. But I wanted him to do it for once. He didn’t and when I texted and called he didn’t respond so I had a breakdown over that. But he said he didn’t text me because I hung up on him without saying anything.
When he asks for space after a argument he just says “i just need some space and someone to talk to this about. Maybe that will help me.” But the next day he acts as if nothing happened and buys me gifts and whatever I like.
TDLR: My friends say my boyfriend is manipulative because he always argued with me and then tries to buy me the next day to make it up.
4 comments
I think it all hinges on the context of the arguments and how he phrases needing space and coming back with gifts. I understand not wanting to share details with strangers but I don’t think enough info is here to say
I think he is kinda manupulative. You have to think for your own happiness, if being with him makes you happy or not. If you feel like he doesn’t love you anymore you should watch his actions and how he treats you with a rational point of view, because love can blurr how we think.
I saw your other posts and I think you need to reflect on the happiness that you feel by dating him and the sadness that you feel.
Also, him being nearly 18 and you being 15 might make you the vulnerable and inexperienced one, easy to manipulate.
But you need to communicate better with each other, communication is the key to all relationships.
I’m going to be honest here. you sound like hard work. I would want space from someone who was crying in my company but refused to share why while i was in a relationship with them.
If he meets you, you are crying/sad/moody and refuse to engage as to whats wrong then what is he meant to do? he’s also 17. I dont know anyone at that age who has the maturity to deal with someone doing that all the time. I am not surprised he wants space.
When he spends quality time around you he wants to treat you nicely, get you small gifts and do fun things. Those are not the hallmarks of an abusive person.
you have created the situation here and being frank are the one manipulating things. Be careful of your friend group who will always take your side and at a young age invent drama where there is no drama – Source i have teenagers.
You are very young to be having a boyfriend. You both have a lot of learning and growing to do. You would probably be happier single. At your age it’s the time to make close friends and discover yourself and what you want in life/relationships. You and your boyfriend are still kids so he will behave as such in relationships.