What are your views on attachment parenting? What would you say or do if you SO wanted your child to share the bed with you beyond a few months?

11 comments

1. No. The moment the child is able to sleep alone that’s what they’ll do. When you keep letting them sleep with you they grow dependant on it and will cling to it. And will be not be able to sit by themselves. Seen it way too many times. My sister is currently having that rather then occupy themselves as children do they hover around her because they weren’t allowed to independent of her.

2. It’s abuse in disguise.

3. You sleep better with your SO next to you. How much more security does a child feel when not sleeping alone? Putting the baby into a separate bed or room is common in “modern” societies but nonetheless not the best for the child, as it doesn’t know it lives in a safe society, sleeps in a safe room. It just learns to be alone, but rather in a “I can’t change it” way.

   Sharing the bed doesn’t make a child dependent, though many people say so cause the child prefers to continue sleeping with its parents for some years. But that’s because it feels safe there. I read some statistics about it and can’t see any negative effect in co sleeping.

   At least for the child. When the parents don’t sleep well at all because the child moves too much and when the problem can’t be solved any other way, then I’d rethink it, too.

   I know a 2yo pretty well that sleeps with her mother, can play rather long on its own, happily leaves for kindergarden every morning and I can’t see any sign of being too attached to the mother.

   Edit: sorry, saw too late this post was in askmen. But I’d have made the same observations if I was a man, so please forgive me not to delete this text 😉

4. Everyone I know who did this had their relationship with their SO damaged as a result.

5. No. The occasional nightmare is one thing. Making a regular thing of it is detrimental to being a couple.

   If we’re going to survive, we need to be a couple first, not just co-parents.

6. There’s differinf studiez on this on how bad or not bad it is. Who knows. But kids are crearrues of comfort and habit. You make it a daily thing, good luck with that. We kept them in the same room until they were 2-ish as I recall. Bassinet gave way to crib. Crib gave way to toddler bed. Then at some point they went to their own room with door open and light on.

7. Cribs are designed to protect babies from being smothered by well intentioned parents. I would definitely not be having any of her nonsense. Get the baby our of your bed it doesn’t belong there.

8. “Attachment parenting” lol. That’s whitewashing something pathological, like “Attachment *disorder*” as in *Can’t let go*.

   Separation..healthy separation is a good thing.

9. No. Getting back to a healthy sex life is important

10. Psh. Its only awkward if you make it awkward.

11. I wouldn’t have had a child with them. Having an independent existence and adult time is important.