I sent someone on discord “Also, if I did something to annoy you/cause you to dislike me, pls lmk I know I’m not the best at taking social cues/willing to adapt and learn (edited)” after they stopped replying to me for a while. Not sure if this is fine or not

5 comments
  1. It’s fine.

    If someone stops talking to you it means you provide less value than the effort it takes to talk to you.

    Your message parapharased says “you can put in a ton more effort into this relationship, and maybe it’ll pay off”

  2. It is fine, but I’d advise you not to look too much into it. People can just forget about the message, get sick, loose internet connection or just don’t feel like talking. There’s many reasons that has nothing to do with you, and by trying to connect those reasons to yourself, you just risk to generate more anxiety. Sometime they just don’t answer and it is normal 🙂 Meanwhile you can chat with someone else.

  3. I manage social anxiety and I have been on both sides of this situation. I don’t know what your life is like, but I can empathize.

    When I ghosted someone, they responded like this. This kind of directness can make people uncomfortable because it puts them in the stressful position of judging you or reassuring you. They also have to judge themselves about how they respond and how other people will judge them.

    When I was ghosted, I felt like a sad and unloved goblin. I thought the universe was unfairly punishing me for my personality and callously rejected all the things I found precious in the world. I felt like something was inherently wrong with me. That feeling faded and I tried again with new people. Getting ghosted sucks, and the responsible thing to do is be direct and honest.

    But you might find yourself on the other side of this someday. Try not to judge them or yourself too harshly. I wish people could be more direct, but humans have limited emotional capacity and sometimes respond by ignoring uncomfortable situations. Today – and especially online – it is very easy to get away with pretending that an uncomfortable situation does not exist.

  4. Yes, it’s fine. It would be nice to know and they didn’t totally ghost you if you can still message them just don’t expect an answer

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