I am ‘tired’ of making friends. Sounds cliché but I really wish I had something optimistic to say but there really isn’t.

20M. I have been to many events and hangouts, met so many people. I don’t know I just cannot make friends, well technically yes I am pretty good at making friends but just for a short duration of time. I meet them, hangout with them, everything is pretty chill…… and that’s it nobody approaches anybody after that. Basically, making long-term friends is something that I suck at. I do not know how to take a friendship forward, both with guys and girls. I do not know what’s wrong with me. Is it an ego problem?? Because I don’t wanna sound desperate when I call somebody to hangout with?? I don’t want them to think that I am friendless and that’s why I don’t call them.

I literally have no idea why I am the way I am!! Or maybe I do. I never really had a normal childhood. Back then kids of my age used to hangout and play sports together, talk about cool and trendy stuff. And then there was me, always clueless about everything. Introverted, loner, sometimes bullied. I hated my life and still do. I am a very boring person honestly who hasn’t done much in life. Never really played or watched sports, don’t really watch the popular and trendy movies and shows, never really travelled and had any great experiences. I feel the only one thing that I can flex about is how I made a girlfriend….. and the relationship lasted a year. I feel like my life is just one-dimensional and monotonous. I feel like I have nothing interesting to talk about.

I am a sophomore in college and still clueless on how to make long lasting friends. I am a part of no friend group. Yes, I am in good terms with everybody around me and those I’ve met but I don’t think I can say I have friends. I get jealous seeing all these guys and girls with their groups walking together in the college premises and then there’s me, mostly walking alone to class. I get really exhausted when being with somebody for a really long period of time and I just wanna get back to my dorm and unwind. But even then, I crave quality friendships. I know y’all gonna say, “YOU HAVE ROOMMATES GO PARTY WITH THEM!” but I just wanna point out that we are really formal with each other and each of my roommates has a friend group of their own. I really wanted to say something uplifting at the end, but there just isn’t. I solely wanted to reach out to someone but didn’t understand who to so I’m here on reddit. Maybe there’s a few people that can relate with me.