27F, I had a pretty shitty experience in middle school, had better acquaintances in HS but definitely dealt with some catty chicks. It wasn’t your “maybe they’re jealous” situation, I think they were simply assholes. As a result, I’m almost 30 but to top it I haven’t had a good experience with the dating apps which doesn’t help with my self worth. I was a chubby kid now thick/slim adult but from the lack of attention from guys plus assholes from my past, I really believe there must be something wrong with me. I get matches on the apps, it usually doesn’t go anywhere, lack of interest from either me or the guy & just a waste of time I have lost so much interest in using the apps.
3 comments
Well in my case it took some pretty extensive work on myself to start feeling confident enough to actually date. In my early 20s when people first started calling me handsome I assumed they were just taking the piss. Over time I learned to accept that people found me attractive even if I couldn’t see it myself. There were some struggles in committed relationships too, since I would often take longer to open up about insecurities
Therapy. I’m not saying it to be judgy, bc I go to therapy. I still deal with self esteem issues bc of my appearance and guys aren’t any better, and I lost a ton of weight!
Honestly, being bullied in middles school only made it easier for me to date. It wasn’t physical bullying, just mostly insults, singling out and backhanded compliments. It taught me to not give a shit about what other say and think about me, and as result made pretty much immune to rejection and ghosting.