I would try to explain this as best i can.
I am extremely introverted, and befriend a co-coworker, who I became very fond of, crushing on even. So somehow I got her number and it took some time but she had hit me up after one of my shift asking “how was work?” I took that as a sign of interest. So I would flirt with her not only through text but in person as well.
I would also from time to time ask her about her day and how are things. But she would reply with short answers and take a while to response to my text as well.
Also when I come into work and see her she would tell about her family drama and what ever is going on in her life. The problem is I want more than just listening/talking to her at work but would like to talk outside of work wether it be text or by actual phone conversation. And seeing as she doesn’t response to my text with a manner of interest I feel as though I should just trying to chase her? Therefore, this upsets me to a great degree as she notices my mood. She realizes that it’s directed towards her and ask my why am I so upset. I recently told her how I feel and I think it has upset her. So I feel it best if its not work related don’t talk to me at all. Idk am I wrong for being upset? I feel like she was leading me on first of all. And it also upsets me that she gave me her number in the first place and gave the impression she was interested. Perhaps I’m the bad guy in this scenario. I sure do feel like one.
2 comments
She was asking how your day at work was. Don’t think that was flirting but being nice and getting to know coworkers. Also do you really know each other so well. Best to give up, just keep work as work, you don’t want to have problems with coworkers.
This is a learning experience, texting someone after a shift is a sign of interest, good read. You are right about being too greedy which made her uninterested. A rule of thumb that I lived by when I was going to school and working in a restaurant was to never carry a conversation over text, dm, snap, etc if I knew I would eventually see them at work. Especially not over the phone you’re better off writing give me more attention on your forehead. It makes you look clingy and desperate which kills the music. Withholding attention builds tension, tension creates interest. By pouncing on the opportunity you have shown your hand and ruined the dance.
Now, you say you told her how you feel and it upset her. This is another learning experience, that completely sours the mood, all the fun tension is gone, the party is over, and only bad vibes remain. She probably felt like crap having to listen to you complain about how she didn’t accept you. I hate to tell you OP but your window of opportunity has closed and it will be very difficult to get it back open. This you will have to accept but there will be many more opportunities if you exercise patience.
Best course of action for this chick: Tell her in person, but DO NOT make it serious, like hey can I talk to you and bring her to the side type shit, that will make her feel worse and really anxious, approach her AS SOON AS POSSIBLE and say “I was thinking about last week and I feel like you didn’t deserve how I reacted about our miscommunication (downplay it) I’m sorry about that, are we still cool?” Smile and extend your hand. It’s vague enough that you don’t even have to get her alone. She will accept and be so relieved that you aren’t a complete weirdo. She might even gain back some respect for you but more importantly this should quell all of her anxieties about you and give you a clean slate to build off of.