There’s a girl I met in my last year of high school. She’s attractive, funny, really smart and shares almost all of my interests; I almost feel like we’re soulmates, or 2 iterations of the same person or something like that. We became friends really quickly and I was hoping to eventually take things to the next level with her. However, around a year after I met her she revealed to me that she’s a lesbian. Obviously, this dashed any hopes of romance for me. I thought I could get over it at first, but it’s been another year and I still have this huge one-sided crush on her. We’re still best friends, and I matter to her just as much as she matters to me, but I’m starting to fear that not getting over her is going to hinder any prospects I have for finding another romantic relationship. Any time I try to think about other girls my mind just ends up returning to her. I’m afraid to make other close relationships because I’m afraid it’ll distance me from her. And it’s not like I’ve tried to get over her; at this point my feelings toward her feel like reflexes, and it’s really hard to control them. What should I do?
4 comments
You need to take some time away from her and get your fucking head straight. Go get fucked up and sleep around for 6 months or so.
You need to forget her… she will never want a relationship with you, ever. She has her own goals and plans which doesn’t include you. I don’t want to sound harsh, but you need to get her out of your head because this can easily turn some criminal story. ie Guy obsesses with woman eventually… well you know the rest. One-sided crush can become stalker territory.
As you get older you will realize you two were never friends. You were someone who orbited her hoping that some day she was going to confess her love for you because you were too scared to make your true intentions known. This is how you friend zone yourself. It’s kind of funny that rather than getting rejected or her meeting another guy, she ended up being a lesbian. You have your answer dude. Move on. You need to cut her out of your life and find new friends. Once you get to a point where the feelings are gone and you have dated other women, then maybe you two can actually become real friends. Until then, you are wasting your time and damaging your own mental health by staying around her.
Look up meditations on YouTube about breaking emotional ties and anything about unrequited love.
You could also try telling her and asking for her advice about what you should do