I’m on to the next and I want to give bdsm a try. I’ve met a guy who is into it and we’ve arranged a day to meet up. What should I expect during it. I know he talked about slapping and choking and I’m down for that but is there anything else I should expect or will he let me know. Any people with first time experience they wanna share.
5 comments
Pain and blood if it exceeds a certain limit.
Communicating boundaries. Since you’re trying it out for your first time, there may be things that you want to try, but after actually trying them you may not be into. Communicating your feelings about what you find you like and don’t like. If it’s getting more on the “intense” side, having a safe word is important. If this guy is truly into bdsm, he’ll be respectful and communicative and should ask if you’re okay as things start heating up.
Establish safe words. If a partner ignores or soft-pedals a safe word, walk out IMMEDIATELY. That’s sacrosanct, since in BDSM both partners are exploring boundaries together.
Also have a “slow down” word that doesn’t tap out but signals you need the intensity dialed back. Very valuable.
Discuss your hardline no-go zones before hand. If a partner tries to go there, walk out IMMEDIATELY.
Tell a trusted friend where you’ll be and with whom. Share your location with that friend. The fact that you just met this person means you need extra security. Play at a public club if at all possible.
Go sub to /r/bdsmadvice
Negotiate boundaries, limits, and kinks to be engaged in before you start.
Ask him if he knows what SSC (Safe, Sane, Consensual) or RACK (Risk Aware Consensual Kink) are. If not probably dont meet him cause he doesn’t actually know what hes doing.
Slapping and choking are just rough sex but choking can be dangerous, even lethal if done incorrectly. Breath play is always dangerous. Just slapping and choking is not really engaging in significant BDSM.
You should probably spend a while researching this before you just “give it a try” there’s alot more that goes into being dom and sub than just rough sex and having a good experience with BDSM is about more than just giving a dude permission to be rough with and hit you.
Bdsm is a very intense experience. Its a huge amount of trust in the other person. You need safe words, understanding of what each other wants and trying different things that could be dangerous . There is alot of “Doms” out there, that are not really Doms at all, just pricks who want to control and use women . Bdsm can be fun, but it is intense so make sure you feel safe with this man. Todaysaburningday said it all and I think its a really good idea to check out the BDSM reddits and research ♥️ good luck!